I watched a movie called 'Young Adult' the other day. While watching my itch for writing again became that much stronger. Who knew a silly movie could hit me that way? Well, I sort of did because every time I watch Finding Forrester I want to write that amazing novel everyone loves even if I fall into oblivion afterward like Sean Connery. It's the characters that get me every time. Who I want to be or think I can be, or just be a little bit like, that make me try again and again and again to be more. To go back to the crazy dreams and think for a little while they could possibly be achievable.
Going in I had no idea Charlize Theron was a YA author in the movie. Sure the series she wrote had been created by someone else but she was the writer. And maybe the series was no longer popular but she could still go out and see tangible evidence of her writing. She didn't have the husband and family she thought she'd have had but she had the writing part. I have the opposite. And of course the end leaves you with the possibility that she could still have what she didn't. Being her character is probably around my age, why can't I? Yeah yeah, it's just a movie. But what makes a good movie or book is when it hits you, inspires you, or just makes you think. Ok. I've said that before.
It made me remember how much I loved the YA or, as I knew it, young teen books. I read so much when I was that age. It was what I did for fun. My escape. It was also when I wrote my first cheesy story. I believe I let a friend or two read it at the time. And I still have it, though believe its missing a page or two. Not that it really matters. No one is ever going to read it. I just like having it. The fact that it's still around on paper and pencil thrills me. I often think that when I type out a story on the computer it's more real or something. Truth is a lot of things I've put on computer I may not have anymore. Or would be a lot harder to get to read as they are on some disc or flash drive somewhere. Not as readily available as my paper which I always have stashed somewhere safe. Yellowed old paper beats this computer hands down every time. Guess Thats why I'm such a sucker for books too.
The movie made me realize I need to not be so afraid of what I've written. I started digging through all my old pages of things I've saved. So many stories I've started, ideas I've had, notes I've kept to help me write, and of course journal writing. Sometimes a book sometimes a few pages here and there. If I can finally read over all these crazy things I've written maybe I can finally get to finishing something. Some things I've totally forgotten about but once I start reading them I can remember clearly when I wrote them. Maybe I can redo something I started years ago and get it out there. The oldest one I,ve found so far is from 24 years ago! Funny part is I've barely gotten through all my saved writings and had to get on here and write something. Nothing like some good inspiration.
24 years I've had this desire to get stories on paper. I think I became more afraid of letting people read my work and failing at writing over that time. Think it's time I gave that part up. It could be interesting to see what my kids think. I just hope I don't disappoint my husband. For my 20th birthday, when my twins were just 8 months old, my brother, who was still in the service at the time, sent me a check for $500. I knew it was to help me out at a pretty crappy time. I took that check and enrolled in a writing course that was done through the mail. I still feel I disappointed him by never finishing the course or publishing anything. I did get all the way to the last assignment. At the very least I know I have to finish that one for myself even if it was started 15 years ago.
It was doing those assignments on Saturdays when my twins were with their father that I'd sit with pencil, paper and added in the cup of coffee to keep me going. As I sit with it next to the computer now I feel like it's become a part of my own little writing ritual. Though I've definitely written at some oddball times and places pencil, paper and, more often than not as the years have gone on, coffee have always been along for the ride. The dining room table I'm sitting at is full of papers I'm trying to categorize. It's tough not to read all of all of them. I think once they are organized I can pull out something each day that will hopefully inspire me to get out the pencil and paper and keep going. The computer I'm typing on has a small corner of the table, just enough space for me to reach onto and type. No matter what technology brings paper will always win! Of course I'll then be forced to type it if I want any chance of ever being published.
Monday, March 19, 2012
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Selfish
I'm probably the last person who should be going off about taking care of yourself. I do like to think that I do it ok. Although I've never gone for regular visits to a doctor or dentist, unless you count the gyno, whom I'm forced to see to keep me in birth control pills. Getting older I've realized I've got to do something to stick around longer for my kids and just feel better in general. It's something I want bad enough to make me be selfish. I would never say I'm the perfect picture of health yet I know I'm doing better than some other people.
I'd like to live as long as possible. Yeah sure I say that now and hey, maybe that will change eventually. I certainly do not eat perfect. There are some things I won't give up. But I've learned the word MODERATION and hold it dear. I love soda! Love it's sweet yummy taste, and the bubbly carbonation. I didn't love the fact it helped me gain a lot of weight to become over 200lbs seven years ago. I tried to cut it out and that wasn't working. I tried some diet sodas figuring I could get the tatse, somewhat, without the weight. Then I heard all the horrible things drinking too much diet soda does to your body. I decided that really wasn't a good trade off. I found flavored seltzer water. I get the bubbly fun and a decent taste with no calories and no harm to anything else. Win win right? Sure it'll hold me over for awhile but I still treat myself to soda, the real deal, every once in awhile and on special occasions. I deserve that much. But I still deserve to do better for myslef on most other days.
I can go on and on about small changes I've found that worked for me to help me stay thinner and healthier over the past seven years but that's probably not going to work for anyone else but me. You've got to stay informed and read and read and listen. I don't read everything I see about foods and weight loss, just the ones that interest me. The ones I feel could help me learn something, could help me be better or just help in someway I'm not sure of yet. And with all that information you pick what's right for yourself. You pick what you can handle to change or start new with. Don't worry about the rest. You know yourself best and what your capable of making work for you. Try things that may work. Stick with the ones that do. At least you tried some of the others. Learn more about what works for you. Be selfish that way. No matter how old you are we can all learn something new about ourselves.
What I don't understand is someone who sees a doctor on a regular basis and completely ignores everything they say to help them help themselves. Who must be referred to specialist doctors and doesn't see that as a red flag or wake-up call to do better, to be better for themselves and everyone else. A great source of information that gets blatantly ignored-why bother going? Why hurt yourself, your body and all the people that care about you that way? I just don't get it. Information is power. Information has never been more readily available 24 hours a day over the internet. With so much out there to help you why ignore it all? Compare and contrast what the doctor has told you but do something, try something, to find the parts that work for you. Ignoring it all and being Selfish that way hurts everyone.
I'm not the picture of perfection but at least I'm trying. I don't want to be better every day but I do enough days to make me move, to eat and drink a little better, to do so many other things that make me better. If I'm better everyone around me benefits from it too. I just hope I always want to be selfish in a good way.
I'd like to live as long as possible. Yeah sure I say that now and hey, maybe that will change eventually. I certainly do not eat perfect. There are some things I won't give up. But I've learned the word MODERATION and hold it dear. I love soda! Love it's sweet yummy taste, and the bubbly carbonation. I didn't love the fact it helped me gain a lot of weight to become over 200lbs seven years ago. I tried to cut it out and that wasn't working. I tried some diet sodas figuring I could get the tatse, somewhat, without the weight. Then I heard all the horrible things drinking too much diet soda does to your body. I decided that really wasn't a good trade off. I found flavored seltzer water. I get the bubbly fun and a decent taste with no calories and no harm to anything else. Win win right? Sure it'll hold me over for awhile but I still treat myself to soda, the real deal, every once in awhile and on special occasions. I deserve that much. But I still deserve to do better for myslef on most other days.
I can go on and on about small changes I've found that worked for me to help me stay thinner and healthier over the past seven years but that's probably not going to work for anyone else but me. You've got to stay informed and read and read and listen. I don't read everything I see about foods and weight loss, just the ones that interest me. The ones I feel could help me learn something, could help me be better or just help in someway I'm not sure of yet. And with all that information you pick what's right for yourself. You pick what you can handle to change or start new with. Don't worry about the rest. You know yourself best and what your capable of making work for you. Try things that may work. Stick with the ones that do. At least you tried some of the others. Learn more about what works for you. Be selfish that way. No matter how old you are we can all learn something new about ourselves.
What I don't understand is someone who sees a doctor on a regular basis and completely ignores everything they say to help them help themselves. Who must be referred to specialist doctors and doesn't see that as a red flag or wake-up call to do better, to be better for themselves and everyone else. A great source of information that gets blatantly ignored-why bother going? Why hurt yourself, your body and all the people that care about you that way? I just don't get it. Information is power. Information has never been more readily available 24 hours a day over the internet. With so much out there to help you why ignore it all? Compare and contrast what the doctor has told you but do something, try something, to find the parts that work for you. Ignoring it all and being Selfish that way hurts everyone.
I'm not the picture of perfection but at least I'm trying. I don't want to be better every day but I do enough days to make me move, to eat and drink a little better, to do so many other things that make me better. If I'm better everyone around me benefits from it too. I just hope I always want to be selfish in a good way.
Friday, March 2, 2012
Meow
I am a cat person. There is no doubt in my mind about this. I love petting them and cuddling them. Of course when they feel up to it. I love that they have minds of their own and don't always do what you want or expect. I know when I want them to comfort me they are always spot on with knowing when to come around.
I don't mind them sleeping on me even if I'm in bed sleeping myself. My husband doesn't agree with this. One cat we had who's no longer with us used to sleep on my side of the bed only. I'm not even sure my husband knew he was there half the time. He learned his place and stayed in it- on my side of the bed. Every once in awhile he'd push it and try to sleep on my pillow or head. That's where I'd draw the line and he'd get tosssed off. Sometimes I'd wake and he'd be there anyway and I hadn't even noticed how he'd gotten there.
My daughters cat, Tiger, sleeps on her pillow all the time. She loves when he does. Although half the time she's out cold and doesn't realize he's there either. Tiger was born as an outside cat in my dads' backyard. Emily really wanted one of the 3 kittens that were born back there so when he was old enough we took him home. He is a very good calm cat. She carried him around with her constantly, in boxes, wrapped in towels, in doll strollers. He was her baby. Still is. Although he is now a large cat he doesn't fit in many of those places. He's very big boned and weighs about 20 pounds. I've seen many dogs that are smaller than Tiger. I feel how she treated him when he was a kitten helped him become the friendly cat he is today. I had a party with about 40 people inside the house a few years ago and Tiger came out and visited with everyone and was not scared at all.
As a kid the first pets I remember having were cats. I've seen video of some dogs we had but I do remember any more than I've seen on the video. We adopted them from all different places, most often as kittens. Actually possibly always as kittens. We had so many at one point there were eight cats living with us. I could have 2 or 3 sleeping on my bed at night. I loved it. My sisters and I played with them all the time. Some of them even let us dress them up in doll clothes! I've got pictues somewhere to prove it. People have told me they had cats live up to 18 years or more. The oldest one we ever had was about 14. I remember my brother showing me to put toothpaste on her nose to watch her freak out a bit trying to get it off. I think it was something about the smell. But not something I did to the cat, maybe it was a boy thing.
A few weeks ago we adopted a new cat for our house. We now have three. I'd always wanted an orange one and the shelter was having free adoptions for Valentines' weekend. Rob and I thought it couldn't hurt to look. King Tut was very friendly to all of us once let out of his cage. They brought in another cat to test to see how he'd do with our other animals at home. Of course he did fine as he's been with us since that day. He does not seem too bothered by the other cats and even our dog. He sleeps on Jacobs bed but started waking him up at night so now he's all over the place. He has slept some in bed with me but doesn't get the rules of staying only on my side so has gotten kicked out. Maybe that will change eventually.
King Tut is about 2-3 years old, the shelter couldn't be sure. Not a kitten but still mighty playful. As of now the only bad thing he's done is attack my shower curtains, in both bathrooms. Not sure what it is about them but has clawed some lovely holes. I've had to get new ones and instruct everyone to spray him with water if he is caught in any tub. So far it seems to be working. Never really sure about adopting a cat and not a kitten I'm so happy with how well King Tut has adjusted to everyone, people and animals, in the house. And he is just as friendly as Tiger. I guess since we looked at all the orange cats that day in the shelter we were definitely able to gauge the one with the best temperament.
I don't mind other animals, we do have a dog and Emily has a hamster too. I just like cats the best. I'm not an animal person, I'm a cat person. My husband is a dog person but of course doesn't mind the cats, or other animals. I think since he's not the cuddler I'd like him to be he should be happy I have the cats to cuddle with. If he can't sleep with me touching him he should be happy I have the cats to wrap my arms around and sleep with instead.
I don't mind them sleeping on me even if I'm in bed sleeping myself. My husband doesn't agree with this. One cat we had who's no longer with us used to sleep on my side of the bed only. I'm not even sure my husband knew he was there half the time. He learned his place and stayed in it- on my side of the bed. Every once in awhile he'd push it and try to sleep on my pillow or head. That's where I'd draw the line and he'd get tosssed off. Sometimes I'd wake and he'd be there anyway and I hadn't even noticed how he'd gotten there.
My daughters cat, Tiger, sleeps on her pillow all the time. She loves when he does. Although half the time she's out cold and doesn't realize he's there either. Tiger was born as an outside cat in my dads' backyard. Emily really wanted one of the 3 kittens that were born back there so when he was old enough we took him home. He is a very good calm cat. She carried him around with her constantly, in boxes, wrapped in towels, in doll strollers. He was her baby. Still is. Although he is now a large cat he doesn't fit in many of those places. He's very big boned and weighs about 20 pounds. I've seen many dogs that are smaller than Tiger. I feel how she treated him when he was a kitten helped him become the friendly cat he is today. I had a party with about 40 people inside the house a few years ago and Tiger came out and visited with everyone and was not scared at all.
As a kid the first pets I remember having were cats. I've seen video of some dogs we had but I do remember any more than I've seen on the video. We adopted them from all different places, most often as kittens. Actually possibly always as kittens. We had so many at one point there were eight cats living with us. I could have 2 or 3 sleeping on my bed at night. I loved it. My sisters and I played with them all the time. Some of them even let us dress them up in doll clothes! I've got pictues somewhere to prove it. People have told me they had cats live up to 18 years or more. The oldest one we ever had was about 14. I remember my brother showing me to put toothpaste on her nose to watch her freak out a bit trying to get it off. I think it was something about the smell. But not something I did to the cat, maybe it was a boy thing.
A few weeks ago we adopted a new cat for our house. We now have three. I'd always wanted an orange one and the shelter was having free adoptions for Valentines' weekend. Rob and I thought it couldn't hurt to look. King Tut was very friendly to all of us once let out of his cage. They brought in another cat to test to see how he'd do with our other animals at home. Of course he did fine as he's been with us since that day. He does not seem too bothered by the other cats and even our dog. He sleeps on Jacobs bed but started waking him up at night so now he's all over the place. He has slept some in bed with me but doesn't get the rules of staying only on my side so has gotten kicked out. Maybe that will change eventually.
King Tut is about 2-3 years old, the shelter couldn't be sure. Not a kitten but still mighty playful. As of now the only bad thing he's done is attack my shower curtains, in both bathrooms. Not sure what it is about them but has clawed some lovely holes. I've had to get new ones and instruct everyone to spray him with water if he is caught in any tub. So far it seems to be working. Never really sure about adopting a cat and not a kitten I'm so happy with how well King Tut has adjusted to everyone, people and animals, in the house. And he is just as friendly as Tiger. I guess since we looked at all the orange cats that day in the shelter we were definitely able to gauge the one with the best temperament.
I don't mind other animals, we do have a dog and Emily has a hamster too. I just like cats the best. I'm not an animal person, I'm a cat person. My husband is a dog person but of course doesn't mind the cats, or other animals. I think since he's not the cuddler I'd like him to be he should be happy I have the cats to cuddle with. If he can't sleep with me touching him he should be happy I have the cats to wrap my arms around and sleep with instead.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Crafty
As I take a needed break from what is to be my son's pillow I realize I've been neglecting this yet again. So, what better to fill a break. Although typing isn't much of a break for my hands and fingers which may be what needs one the most. Months ago I finally made my daughter her pillow. It was about time I got to my sons'.
Three years ago we took a trip to Disneyworld. I purchased T-shirts for everyone ahead of time from the Disney outlet. I knew characters signing would be a big thing the for the little kids now and I thought it would be special and different for them to have the characters sign their shirts. I learned they cannot sign if they are worn so we brought some shirts for signing each day depending on what characters we were likely to see. Emily had Minnie, Daisy, Cinderella, and Tinkerbell sign shirts she had with their pictures on them. Jacob had Mickey, Pluto, Donald, and Goofy sign his. They loved wearing them and thankfully they didn't get too beat up or wrecked.
Of course the kids grew out of the shirts. Now is where I get to be crafty. I cut out the main part of the shirt with picture and signature and combine them all together. Sew them up nicely and stuff them with poly fill. Emily has had her Disney pillow for awhile now. She sleeps with it at night and has even brought it with her for sleepovers. Jacob has been waking up at night a lot lately. Unlike his sister he hasn't slept with any special animal or blanket for awhile. For awhile before that Disney trip he was sleeping with a Daisy stuffed animal and sometimes a Minnie one too. That didn't last all that long though. It finally got me to start on his pillow, thinking/hoping he'll like to sleep with it and hopefully sleep better. I made the mistake of telling him about it and he was expecting it to be done in a day. Hopefully I can get it done for him for tonight.
I love that the kids will have their pillows as long as they may want to keep them. I love that I was able to make a plain old T-shirt something fun, useful, and special. I wish I had done something like that for my older boys. We never took any big trips though I'm sure they had favorite shirts I could have used or something. I did make everyone their own albums of the big trip. Maybe I can scrapbook them their own and be a little more crafty that way.
While at Michaels earlier to get the fill for Jakes pillow I wandered around a bit as I love thinking of the possibilies with all that fun stuff in the store. I'm always drawn to the unfinished wooden boxes and what not. Never sure what I'd do with them I have to touch them and check them out. I think as I've gotten older I have had more ideas, if not the time, to make and craft some things. I made the centerpieces for the tables at our wedding reception. I got into scrapbooking awhile ago and do it when I can. I used to latch hook when I was younger and saw today they even have animals you can make now. That might be fun for me to try sometime. I have tried to learn how to knit but it just has not stuck. My mom always crocheted but not sure if I'd want her to teach me. I made bracelets and jewelry with string and beads also when I was younger. I'd definitely like to teach my daughter how. I think she'd get a kick out of it. And working with high schoolers that still wear bracelets like that she may want to learn. Guess I'll have to get back to Michaels with her to pick out some string colors soon.
Three years ago we took a trip to Disneyworld. I purchased T-shirts for everyone ahead of time from the Disney outlet. I knew characters signing would be a big thing the for the little kids now and I thought it would be special and different for them to have the characters sign their shirts. I learned they cannot sign if they are worn so we brought some shirts for signing each day depending on what characters we were likely to see. Emily had Minnie, Daisy, Cinderella, and Tinkerbell sign shirts she had with their pictures on them. Jacob had Mickey, Pluto, Donald, and Goofy sign his. They loved wearing them and thankfully they didn't get too beat up or wrecked.
Of course the kids grew out of the shirts. Now is where I get to be crafty. I cut out the main part of the shirt with picture and signature and combine them all together. Sew them up nicely and stuff them with poly fill. Emily has had her Disney pillow for awhile now. She sleeps with it at night and has even brought it with her for sleepovers. Jacob has been waking up at night a lot lately. Unlike his sister he hasn't slept with any special animal or blanket for awhile. For awhile before that Disney trip he was sleeping with a Daisy stuffed animal and sometimes a Minnie one too. That didn't last all that long though. It finally got me to start on his pillow, thinking/hoping he'll like to sleep with it and hopefully sleep better. I made the mistake of telling him about it and he was expecting it to be done in a day. Hopefully I can get it done for him for tonight.
I love that the kids will have their pillows as long as they may want to keep them. I love that I was able to make a plain old T-shirt something fun, useful, and special. I wish I had done something like that for my older boys. We never took any big trips though I'm sure they had favorite shirts I could have used or something. I did make everyone their own albums of the big trip. Maybe I can scrapbook them their own and be a little more crafty that way.
While at Michaels earlier to get the fill for Jakes pillow I wandered around a bit as I love thinking of the possibilies with all that fun stuff in the store. I'm always drawn to the unfinished wooden boxes and what not. Never sure what I'd do with them I have to touch them and check them out. I think as I've gotten older I have had more ideas, if not the time, to make and craft some things. I made the centerpieces for the tables at our wedding reception. I got into scrapbooking awhile ago and do it when I can. I used to latch hook when I was younger and saw today they even have animals you can make now. That might be fun for me to try sometime. I have tried to learn how to knit but it just has not stuck. My mom always crocheted but not sure if I'd want her to teach me. I made bracelets and jewelry with string and beads also when I was younger. I'd definitely like to teach my daughter how. I think she'd get a kick out of it. And working with high schoolers that still wear bracelets like that she may want to learn. Guess I'll have to get back to Michaels with her to pick out some string colors soon.
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