As long as I continue to have 'extras' playing here at my house I will always have some stuff to remember some of the people I worked with at the library. As I tried to write this earlier today with all the kids outside playing I took a good look around my yard. I didn't buy many of the big durable toys and play things that the newest little ones (my extras) were having fun playing in. I got so many of them from ladies I worked with.
I was younger than a lot of the women already working there. They had older kids, sometimes even older grandkids. They grew out of these passed down goodies. Whenever anyone was looking to pass on a still usable toy they'd come and find me. If it was free and in decent shape they knew i'd take it. Why not? I knew I couldn't afford all those goodies. Why shouldn't my kids get to play with them just because they were someone elses first? Besdies most can get a good scrubbing or even power washing and they're good as new. Especially to my kids.
I began to inventory the items about my yard. The newest, largest passed down playhouse came maybe six months ago from Betty. My Jake is still little enough to enjoy it. It is huge. She and her husband followed me home one day with it in the back of their truck. There was no way it was getting here otherwise. It's got a house with small table inside, slide out the front and crawl through tunnel underneath. There is a brigde that runs over the tunnel into a smaller landing that has a climb up area. My little extras aren't quite big enough for it yet. But soon enough Jake will have to share that table where he likes to hide out and eat his lunch on nice days. Soon enough he won't be here every day for lunch anmore, but that is another topic for another day.
I have a huge blue boat with a cover from Wendi that could be a sandbox but we use it as a toy box. There is the 'girl' playhouse Claudia dropped off one day for Emily as her girls were too big. It's only girl because of the pink door but the boys don't care and play in it too. We have a small white table with two blue chairs that I got from Debbie. Though I never worked with Coreen I have a green turtle sandbox she inherited when she moved into her new house and didn't want so it was passed on to me.
I certainly cannot forget the ratty pink double stroller, also from Wendi, that Emily still uses to push her stuffed animals around the yard in. No matter how many times she forgets and it gets left out and rained on and yucked up overnight. Her and Jake still fight over using it. The other morning I woke to see it sitting on the curb with my garbage. I knew one of my older boys screwed up badly and ran out to save it from the curb. Then I woke Em up to be sure it wasn't broken. And Andrew the garbage culprit who saw it parked by the cans outside and thought it was trash and so put it out. Although an item I had placed on top of the cans because it was too big to fit was saved when it should have ben trashed. Ah, love that mind of a teenage boy.
I love seeing new kids having a great time playing in toys my kids are now too old for. It is very sad and hard for me to part with toys I think are still useful. I'm very glad they can still be used here for my extras. Too bad they have to grow up too. Slowly I get rid of the broken, old, beat up toys that no one touches. If my husband had his way we wouldn't have much of anything left in the yard. I just hope that when the time comes and I can get rid of things I can pass them down to another kid who will get a whole lot of joy playing with their new passed down toy. Is it any wonder I had to stop myself from balling at the end of Toy Story 3?
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Monday, August 30, 2010
Baby Food
My extras, the kids I babysit for, are 14 months and 22 months old. My own children are at this moment 15, 15, 8, and 4. I've spooned up quite a load of baby food in my time. Now of course we have many more varieties and even companies that make them than we did when my 15 year olds were eating it. I believe my choices then were Gerber, that has been around forever and ever. And the new-comer Beechnut. Now there are of course things like Earths Best Organic Baby food And Yo-Baby yogurt. Because I guess regular yogurt just isn't good for your baby, but its ok for you.
Things like that I just don't get. Sure, under one year olds you really have to be careful with what they're eating.(milk, eggs, peanut butter) Actually I think there are some things you shouldn't give them until after two now. (honey, maybe peanut butter belongs here?) Who can keep up as the rules are always changing. "This is good for you eat it a lot." Six months later, turns into "No, its not. It has some good things about it but don't eat too much of it." Common sense says too much of anything is bad for you. At least thats what it says to me. Maybe I'm wrong.
With the rules always changing I always felt it so easy to feed the kids when they were little. That little jar of baby food I knew I could count on. It was made for the baby. It had all the good things the baby is supposed to have and is allowed to eat. It was safe and convenient. I had my kids on baby food for quite some time. I supplemented real food as they grew of course. But I was always afraid that they weren't getting enough of what they needed. It was harder to tell just how much real food went in their mouths and how much went on the floor, got stuck in the bib, their hair, or was thrown to the dog. The baby food jars were good safe back ups to be sure the baby was eating enough. And getting enough of the good stuff.
My 22 month old extra still gets baby food from the jar. Sure there are times she gets a sandwich or something else sent with her for lunch. But the jars are still around. My 14 month old extra hasn't had a jar of baby food sent over with him since he turned one. It baffles me. I don't ask because it is mom and dads decision on what their child should eat. I'm just confused by it. Maybe their doctor said no more baby food. Maybe they think its easier this way. Everyone has their own opinion.
I think it's easier to feed him baby food. I also feel he eats it better, as I did with my own kids. I worry that he's hungry a lot now because he doesn't always eat what they send. Those days I'm left scrambling in my own cabinets for something I think he'll eat and is safe for him. I'm tempted to buy some baby food myself to have on hand just incase. I'm not sure what the parents would think about that. So mommies what do you think? When should we cut off the baby food completely?
Things like that I just don't get. Sure, under one year olds you really have to be careful with what they're eating.(milk, eggs, peanut butter) Actually I think there are some things you shouldn't give them until after two now. (honey, maybe peanut butter belongs here?) Who can keep up as the rules are always changing. "This is good for you eat it a lot." Six months later, turns into "No, its not. It has some good things about it but don't eat too much of it." Common sense says too much of anything is bad for you. At least thats what it says to me. Maybe I'm wrong.
With the rules always changing I always felt it so easy to feed the kids when they were little. That little jar of baby food I knew I could count on. It was made for the baby. It had all the good things the baby is supposed to have and is allowed to eat. It was safe and convenient. I had my kids on baby food for quite some time. I supplemented real food as they grew of course. But I was always afraid that they weren't getting enough of what they needed. It was harder to tell just how much real food went in their mouths and how much went on the floor, got stuck in the bib, their hair, or was thrown to the dog. The baby food jars were good safe back ups to be sure the baby was eating enough. And getting enough of the good stuff.
My 22 month old extra still gets baby food from the jar. Sure there are times she gets a sandwich or something else sent with her for lunch. But the jars are still around. My 14 month old extra hasn't had a jar of baby food sent over with him since he turned one. It baffles me. I don't ask because it is mom and dads decision on what their child should eat. I'm just confused by it. Maybe their doctor said no more baby food. Maybe they think its easier this way. Everyone has their own opinion.
I think it's easier to feed him baby food. I also feel he eats it better, as I did with my own kids. I worry that he's hungry a lot now because he doesn't always eat what they send. Those days I'm left scrambling in my own cabinets for something I think he'll eat and is safe for him. I'm tempted to buy some baby food myself to have on hand just incase. I'm not sure what the parents would think about that. So mommies what do you think? When should we cut off the baby food completely?
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Six Flags
In April we bought Six Flags season passes to Great Adventure in anticipation of the big trip. We were able to go to Great Adventure twice and Six Flags New England once before we left on the trip in July. Of course we had been to these parks before but it had been a few years. The main use for the passes was of course to hit six new Six Flags parks on our big road trip cross country.
Orignally there were supposed to be seven. Six Flags did not renew it's land lease in Kentucky and closed the park there. It was supposed to be our first park stop so it was a little disappointing. By the end of the trip my husband and I were quite glad it had closed. It would have been too much. Too many parks. We had a much better time spending hours at the Louisville Slugger Museum which was much better than we ever expected it to be. If you're ever there you and you enjoy baseball, you must stop.
It was great to see the different parks and their different layouts. Unfortunately there were only a few different rides here and there. Most parks had so many of the same things. Of course the kiddie areas were a lot alike. Although there are Thomas the Tank Engine areas in a few of the parks(Georgia, California, New England). That was always an extra fun treat for Jake. Each one always had a Thomas to ride and a store to shop in. Beyond that there were maybe one or two other rides. Each was like another kiddie ride but just had a Thomas theme. Like Bertie the bus that went up and around. Or Harold the helicopter flew around in a circle. Jakes favorite was probably the Percy roller coaster at Magic Mountain in California.
All the parks had a few roller coasters. Some more, some less. Some were the exact same ride with a different name. Sometimes they kept the same. That made it easy for us to know if we could skip it or not. The craziest one had to be the X2, also in Magic Mountain. I did not get to ride it as Rob and the boys waited two and a half hours for their ride. Apparently as the coaster moves on the track, the seat your in also moves and spins you around and there's music coming from speakers in your headrest. I would have liked to try it but it just was not worth the wait. Rob has said he wasn't sure if he liked it it was just so strange.
There was almost always a train around the park. It's funny that our home park Great Adventure does not have one and all the rest seem too. They all had an observation tower or sky ride of some sort which always gave a nice view of the park. There were always bumper cars, and antique cars that the little kids were able to sort of drive. Lets not forget the water, with a log flume and rapid ride at each park. Each one also has shows. Some were different, some were the same. We didn't get to catch them all but the ones we did were always worth the stop and the little kids usually loved them. Of course they all had character spots to meet, greet and take photos with Looney Tunes characters and some superheroes.
The difference was always the people. That and of coure the few special stand out rides. Texas' Fiesta park was definitely the nicest. Rob and I both had some great conversations with people while waiting on the lines. Most couldn't believe the trip we were on and thought it was great. We did too of course. We will also never forget little Evan. About Emilys age, we met him in the wave pool at Six Flags St. Louis. He caught the live frog that was swimming in the water with us, took him out and set him free.
By Geogia, Rob and I were definitely all parked out. We did not care about the rides just let the kids have a good time and got on when we had to. Yup, we're older and we learned how certain rides as much as we might like to do them they are not very nice to us. I had to shy away from a few roller coasters after feeling as if I was going to black out on one. And I definitely was not a fan of the heat.
Right after we got back Jake asked when we could go to the rides again. Not wanting to disappoint and figuring we should make use of the passes some more we planned to go a week later. By the time the day came to go, Jake and I both weren't feeling well. At least we waited until after the big trip. I would have dragged myself through had he been ok to go. But when he wasn't it needless to say it was a relief to both Rob and I as we really couldn't care less about going anymore. We are still all parked out. We were trying again a few days later but by then Andrew wasn't feeling well. Yet again we put it off, not at all to the parents dismay. We've got one more shot before school starts and that will be this Friday. By now I think Rob and I feel we owe it to them to get there. Lets' hope we all stay well and make it. If we don't we've still got weekends through October to get them there.
Orignally there were supposed to be seven. Six Flags did not renew it's land lease in Kentucky and closed the park there. It was supposed to be our first park stop so it was a little disappointing. By the end of the trip my husband and I were quite glad it had closed. It would have been too much. Too many parks. We had a much better time spending hours at the Louisville Slugger Museum which was much better than we ever expected it to be. If you're ever there you and you enjoy baseball, you must stop.
It was great to see the different parks and their different layouts. Unfortunately there were only a few different rides here and there. Most parks had so many of the same things. Of course the kiddie areas were a lot alike. Although there are Thomas the Tank Engine areas in a few of the parks(Georgia, California, New England). That was always an extra fun treat for Jake. Each one always had a Thomas to ride and a store to shop in. Beyond that there were maybe one or two other rides. Each was like another kiddie ride but just had a Thomas theme. Like Bertie the bus that went up and around. Or Harold the helicopter flew around in a circle. Jakes favorite was probably the Percy roller coaster at Magic Mountain in California.
All the parks had a few roller coasters. Some more, some less. Some were the exact same ride with a different name. Sometimes they kept the same. That made it easy for us to know if we could skip it or not. The craziest one had to be the X2, also in Magic Mountain. I did not get to ride it as Rob and the boys waited two and a half hours for their ride. Apparently as the coaster moves on the track, the seat your in also moves and spins you around and there's music coming from speakers in your headrest. I would have liked to try it but it just was not worth the wait. Rob has said he wasn't sure if he liked it it was just so strange.
There was almost always a train around the park. It's funny that our home park Great Adventure does not have one and all the rest seem too. They all had an observation tower or sky ride of some sort which always gave a nice view of the park. There were always bumper cars, and antique cars that the little kids were able to sort of drive. Lets not forget the water, with a log flume and rapid ride at each park. Each one also has shows. Some were different, some were the same. We didn't get to catch them all but the ones we did were always worth the stop and the little kids usually loved them. Of course they all had character spots to meet, greet and take photos with Looney Tunes characters and some superheroes.
The difference was always the people. That and of coure the few special stand out rides. Texas' Fiesta park was definitely the nicest. Rob and I both had some great conversations with people while waiting on the lines. Most couldn't believe the trip we were on and thought it was great. We did too of course. We will also never forget little Evan. About Emilys age, we met him in the wave pool at Six Flags St. Louis. He caught the live frog that was swimming in the water with us, took him out and set him free.
By Geogia, Rob and I were definitely all parked out. We did not care about the rides just let the kids have a good time and got on when we had to. Yup, we're older and we learned how certain rides as much as we might like to do them they are not very nice to us. I had to shy away from a few roller coasters after feeling as if I was going to black out on one. And I definitely was not a fan of the heat.
Right after we got back Jake asked when we could go to the rides again. Not wanting to disappoint and figuring we should make use of the passes some more we planned to go a week later. By the time the day came to go, Jake and I both weren't feeling well. At least we waited until after the big trip. I would have dragged myself through had he been ok to go. But when he wasn't it needless to say it was a relief to both Rob and I as we really couldn't care less about going anymore. We are still all parked out. We were trying again a few days later but by then Andrew wasn't feeling well. Yet again we put it off, not at all to the parents dismay. We've got one more shot before school starts and that will be this Friday. By now I think Rob and I feel we owe it to them to get there. Lets' hope we all stay well and make it. If we don't we've still got weekends through October to get them there.
Friday, August 27, 2010
First Saturday
Tomorrow will be my third Saturday without a job. Or, without my job at the library. I'm getting used to them now. Looking forward to hitting the beach very early with Em, Jake, my dad, and my sister tomorrow. Have not been able to ever do that with them because I was always working on Saturdays. They are definitely getting easier, nicer and much, much better. Especially better than that first one.
Three weeks ago I was actually able to sleep until 9:30am. A big rarity in this house with early riser Jake. Though most of that is my fault because I'm usually an early riser myself. But who doesn't appreciate the occasional morning slept in? Normally I'd have left for work an hour before that. Unfortunately that was maybe the best part of the day. Sure, it was nice to be home with the hubby and kids but it just didn't feel right. I didn't feel right. It was as if I didn't belong. Which after years of working every single Saturday, 9am-5pm, was normal I guess.
Rob was taking them to Best Bargain Books for Star Wars day. They were having dressed up characters from the movies and he and the kids could take pictures with them. I thought tagging along and being in the bookstore would help. I was wrong. I was so not happy there. I don't know what it is but I need to be around books. I love being around books. It's where I feel I belong. To be able to just grab any one of 'em, flip it open, and dive into another world or learn something new. I love it! Call me a geek, nerd or whatever, I still love it. In the bookstore I couldn't just take any of them home with me like when I was at work. Well I could, but that of course would wind up costing quite a lot. I knew then I needed to get to my new home library and start feeling like myself again.
I grew up going to the library I eventually worked in for 14 years. I always knew it. It was always there. It was somewhere I could always go to escape whatever. I used to walk and even ride my bike there starting when I was in elementary school. I was always there. It was a second home for me even then. I have a new library to learn now. To be just as comfortable and happy in. It sucks I can't just walk or bike there but I'll have to get used to driving down. And going consistantly to keep me sane. I'm working on it now but three weeks ago I was scared and nervous about it. Would it be the same? Would I like it? Would I even be able to find what I wanted? And I knew I had to wait until Monday to go. Though it helped get me through the day, having a plan to get out of my funk, it stunk knowing I had to wait for it.
Three weeks ago I was actually able to sleep until 9:30am. A big rarity in this house with early riser Jake. Though most of that is my fault because I'm usually an early riser myself. But who doesn't appreciate the occasional morning slept in? Normally I'd have left for work an hour before that. Unfortunately that was maybe the best part of the day. Sure, it was nice to be home with the hubby and kids but it just didn't feel right. I didn't feel right. It was as if I didn't belong. Which after years of working every single Saturday, 9am-5pm, was normal I guess.
Rob was taking them to Best Bargain Books for Star Wars day. They were having dressed up characters from the movies and he and the kids could take pictures with them. I thought tagging along and being in the bookstore would help. I was wrong. I was so not happy there. I don't know what it is but I need to be around books. I love being around books. It's where I feel I belong. To be able to just grab any one of 'em, flip it open, and dive into another world or learn something new. I love it! Call me a geek, nerd or whatever, I still love it. In the bookstore I couldn't just take any of them home with me like when I was at work. Well I could, but that of course would wind up costing quite a lot. I knew then I needed to get to my new home library and start feeling like myself again.
I grew up going to the library I eventually worked in for 14 years. I always knew it. It was always there. It was somewhere I could always go to escape whatever. I used to walk and even ride my bike there starting when I was in elementary school. I was always there. It was a second home for me even then. I have a new library to learn now. To be just as comfortable and happy in. It sucks I can't just walk or bike there but I'll have to get used to driving down. And going consistantly to keep me sane. I'm working on it now but three weeks ago I was scared and nervous about it. Would it be the same? Would I like it? Would I even be able to find what I wanted? And I knew I had to wait until Monday to go. Though it helped get me through the day, having a plan to get out of my funk, it stunk knowing I had to wait for it.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Why Did I Teach You To Talk?
I babysit for my neice who will turn two in October. She's just starting to talk. It's so cute and so exciting to hear new words come out of her mouth for the first time. It's exciting every time for everyone who bears witness as babies grow into toddlers and can do a lot more like walk and talk. Then we have my Jacob, who is four. I cannot tell you how many times in a day I wind up telling him to shut up. Thank God for the dvd player and headphones on our big trip. Without it some duct tape may have had to be my new best friend.
It isn't just the, "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy" I hear constantly. He seems to think he must repeat EVERYTHING. Sometimes I'm lucky and it's only twice. Then of course there are the three, four, and five times when I can't help but screaming, "O.K. I HEAR YOU!" back at him. I don't remember my other kids being that bad. Then again maybe I've blocked it out. Thankfully it isn't just me. I hear him do it to his dad and brothers and sister too. When that happens I can laugh about it from the other room. I just hope when he starts pre-school he doesn't do it to his teacher.
On occassion he does come out with some pretty funny things. I've gotten used to being woken up to, "It's good morning, The sun is out." No matter if it's 5am or 8am. When he wakes, if its sunny out, it's good morning. Which also means 'time to get out of bed mommy' in Jacob speak. When he comes out with something hysterical we just can't contain our laughter he then repeats it over and over looking for the same reaction. I guess at four it's so much fun to make us laugh at him.
Then there are my teenagers who always have something to say. Especially something to say Back to me after I've yelled about something. My one son still doesn't know to just close his mouth. Despite years of telling him this. I don't know how he can't realize by now that the more he talks back the more trouble he gets himself in. That would require understanding a teenage boys brain. I don't think thats going to happen any time soon. No matter it never fails.
Yesterday I was trying to get him to pay attention to what's going on around outside the car as we were driving. Preparation for the driver he may evetually get to be if I let him. I asked, "What color was the car that just drove past us?" His answer, "I don't know. A bunch of gray, white one, blue one, school bus, another white one." Wise guy then proceeded to name every color of each car we passed. I got pissed. Obviously the point was not to now pay attention to the colors of the cars going by. Just to try to make him aware of things around him. I said this. He answered back, and we were off. Once again yelling, that has become all to common. I'm so sick of it. But not sure what to do. Maybe I should just start closing my mouth like I've told him too.
It isn't just the, "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy" I hear constantly. He seems to think he must repeat EVERYTHING. Sometimes I'm lucky and it's only twice. Then of course there are the three, four, and five times when I can't help but screaming, "O.K. I HEAR YOU!" back at him. I don't remember my other kids being that bad. Then again maybe I've blocked it out. Thankfully it isn't just me. I hear him do it to his dad and brothers and sister too. When that happens I can laugh about it from the other room. I just hope when he starts pre-school he doesn't do it to his teacher.
On occassion he does come out with some pretty funny things. I've gotten used to being woken up to, "It's good morning, The sun is out." No matter if it's 5am or 8am. When he wakes, if its sunny out, it's good morning. Which also means 'time to get out of bed mommy' in Jacob speak. When he comes out with something hysterical we just can't contain our laughter he then repeats it over and over looking for the same reaction. I guess at four it's so much fun to make us laugh at him.
Then there are my teenagers who always have something to say. Especially something to say Back to me after I've yelled about something. My one son still doesn't know to just close his mouth. Despite years of telling him this. I don't know how he can't realize by now that the more he talks back the more trouble he gets himself in. That would require understanding a teenage boys brain. I don't think thats going to happen any time soon. No matter it never fails.
Yesterday I was trying to get him to pay attention to what's going on around outside the car as we were driving. Preparation for the driver he may evetually get to be if I let him. I asked, "What color was the car that just drove past us?" His answer, "I don't know. A bunch of gray, white one, blue one, school bus, another white one." Wise guy then proceeded to name every color of each car we passed. I got pissed. Obviously the point was not to now pay attention to the colors of the cars going by. Just to try to make him aware of things around him. I said this. He answered back, and we were off. Once again yelling, that has become all to common. I'm so sick of it. But not sure what to do. Maybe I should just start closing my mouth like I've told him too.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Memory
I've forgotten lots and lots of things. Ask my husband. He loves telling people about things we've done I've completely forgotten about. Concerts, movies, all kinds of things. I'll swear I've never seen a movie, up, down and sideways. When I watch it, again, it's like "oh, ok, I HAVE seen this. But I still can't tell you how it ends." It's just familiar, not known. There really isn't a memory of it.
Shopping with Emily the other day she reminded me that we needed ice cream. Wound up with chocolate, vanilla, and cookies and cream. Her new favorite flavor. That night, of course we opened the cookies and cream first. Scooping it out of the carton into her bowl I was hit with a great memory. My girlfriend and I, probably about the same age as Emily, sitting in my parents basement spoons in hand, polishing off our own half gallon carton of cookies and cream ice cream.
Sleepovers. We had so many of them over the years. But each year there was a special one. I think it started in first grade and went through until at least seventh. Her dad was a NYC fireman and each year her parents would go in (I believe now it was for the installation dinner the fire department has) and stay overnight in the City. Since she always slept at my house and my parents were essentially babysitting, her mom would take us shopping for goodies to have for the sleepover. Those were some great grocery store trips. Picking whatever we wanted. Ice cream, Soda, chips, dips, all kinds of treats.
I had been grocery shopping with my mother before of course but this was different. I also remember being shocked at one point when shopping with them. Her mom grabbed a bag of cookies and opened them. And let us eat some in the store while we were shopping. We hadn't paid for them yet! I was amazed. My mom would never do something like that. To them it was all normal so I went along with it. And enjoyed every minute! If I'm ever even tempted to eat while I'm shopping I always think of that trip, but I don't usually do it.
As we got older we of course could eat more and would get two of just about everything. That was when we had our contests. Who could finish their bag of snacks first, their 2 liter bottle of soda first? And as we were such ladies at such a young age, the best burps from all that soda. We had all night and sometimes it did take awhile to finish them. It was always so much fun. I don't even remember who won more often. (I think me.) Or if it made us sick. (I don't think so.) It didn't matter, and doesn't matter. We're still friends who share some amazing memories. Although it took a little something like cookies and cream ice cream to spark the memory, I hope, and doubt, it's something I'll ever forget.
Shopping with Emily the other day she reminded me that we needed ice cream. Wound up with chocolate, vanilla, and cookies and cream. Her new favorite flavor. That night, of course we opened the cookies and cream first. Scooping it out of the carton into her bowl I was hit with a great memory. My girlfriend and I, probably about the same age as Emily, sitting in my parents basement spoons in hand, polishing off our own half gallon carton of cookies and cream ice cream.
Sleepovers. We had so many of them over the years. But each year there was a special one. I think it started in first grade and went through until at least seventh. Her dad was a NYC fireman and each year her parents would go in (I believe now it was for the installation dinner the fire department has) and stay overnight in the City. Since she always slept at my house and my parents were essentially babysitting, her mom would take us shopping for goodies to have for the sleepover. Those were some great grocery store trips. Picking whatever we wanted. Ice cream, Soda, chips, dips, all kinds of treats.
I had been grocery shopping with my mother before of course but this was different. I also remember being shocked at one point when shopping with them. Her mom grabbed a bag of cookies and opened them. And let us eat some in the store while we were shopping. We hadn't paid for them yet! I was amazed. My mom would never do something like that. To them it was all normal so I went along with it. And enjoyed every minute! If I'm ever even tempted to eat while I'm shopping I always think of that trip, but I don't usually do it.
As we got older we of course could eat more and would get two of just about everything. That was when we had our contests. Who could finish their bag of snacks first, their 2 liter bottle of soda first? And as we were such ladies at such a young age, the best burps from all that soda. We had all night and sometimes it did take awhile to finish them. It was always so much fun. I don't even remember who won more often. (I think me.) Or if it made us sick. (I don't think so.) It didn't matter, and doesn't matter. We're still friends who share some amazing memories. Although it took a little something like cookies and cream ice cream to spark the memory, I hope, and doubt, it's something I'll ever forget.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Too Early
Usually when my husband kisses me goodbye and leaves in the morning I have no problem getting back to sleep. Today my brain would not shut off. Even when I could, because amazingly early riser Jake was still sleeping, I could not. I tried for about and hour. Then I just was having too many good ideas I needed to get down on paper. I don't know if it's because I have nothing else to do now without the 'Job', or what. I feel like I have so many more ideas for what I can put on here. It's tough because I could be posting all the time. I've been good keeping it to one or two and saving a list for the days I'm not sure what to say or write about. God knows I have tons of material flitting around in my head.
Maybe that's just what it is. I'm super excited. I've had ideas for books and stories going on up there since I was in the seventh grade. Some I got out on paper. Some I was afraid to put out there. Although not much of anything I've even gotten on paper has been read since I've always been so paranoid people would think it sucked. Who wants to see their dream crash and burn? Not me, thanks. So I've been hiding behind the kids the house and the job. Now I have time. I'm making the most of it. Maybe it's 'cause I'm older and if some people think what I have to say sucks so be it. I'll hunt down the ones who like it and do it for them. :)
Yesterday was a great day. I posted twice and got that writing itch out. I also went back to other writing I had started a few months ago. I edited, adjusted and reworked some of it. Usually that's the part I hate. I don't even like reading what I've read for fear it's bad and I can do nothing more with it. So, it would just get hidden. Not anymore, I hope anyway. Or at least I'm going to try. This I'm going to turn into something tangible even if I have to find a way to print it myself. Whats better is I have an idea thats been festering for a long time for the next "big project" that I think could really BE something. And while I have to keep that on the back burner 'till I'm through with the first it's what got me out of bed. If I have to wait to make that something, ideas I have for it now I don't want to lose need to get written and put away for later. I Had To get out of bed. Was too excited to stay still any longer despite the early hour.
I also got in some work that actually pays yesterday, babysitting for both my little charges. Made cookies with my kids and a nice yummy supper for the family. Oh and cleaned out my daughters closet, big doings there. I was back and forth to the computer or with pen and paper if that was easier and loved every minute of it. At one point I was just dancing around the kitchen I had so much excited energy it had to come out some way. Of course my daughter walked in and looked at me like I was nuts. "What are you doing?"
"Nothing." I answered with a smile and finished up my little dance while she rolled her eyes and walked out. You see dancing myself for no reason, especially when there isn't even any music playing has probably never happened before. But I do think there will be lots of it to come in the future. Next time I'll have to make her join me.
Maybe that's just what it is. I'm super excited. I've had ideas for books and stories going on up there since I was in the seventh grade. Some I got out on paper. Some I was afraid to put out there. Although not much of anything I've even gotten on paper has been read since I've always been so paranoid people would think it sucked. Who wants to see their dream crash and burn? Not me, thanks. So I've been hiding behind the kids the house and the job. Now I have time. I'm making the most of it. Maybe it's 'cause I'm older and if some people think what I have to say sucks so be it. I'll hunt down the ones who like it and do it for them. :)
Yesterday was a great day. I posted twice and got that writing itch out. I also went back to other writing I had started a few months ago. I edited, adjusted and reworked some of it. Usually that's the part I hate. I don't even like reading what I've read for fear it's bad and I can do nothing more with it. So, it would just get hidden. Not anymore, I hope anyway. Or at least I'm going to try. This I'm going to turn into something tangible even if I have to find a way to print it myself. Whats better is I have an idea thats been festering for a long time for the next "big project" that I think could really BE something. And while I have to keep that on the back burner 'till I'm through with the first it's what got me out of bed. If I have to wait to make that something, ideas I have for it now I don't want to lose need to get written and put away for later. I Had To get out of bed. Was too excited to stay still any longer despite the early hour.
I also got in some work that actually pays yesterday, babysitting for both my little charges. Made cookies with my kids and a nice yummy supper for the family. Oh and cleaned out my daughters closet, big doings there. I was back and forth to the computer or with pen and paper if that was easier and loved every minute of it. At one point I was just dancing around the kitchen I had so much excited energy it had to come out some way. Of course my daughter walked in and looked at me like I was nuts. "What are you doing?"
"Nothing." I answered with a smile and finished up my little dance while she rolled her eyes and walked out. You see dancing myself for no reason, especially when there isn't even any music playing has probably never happened before. But I do think there will be lots of it to come in the future. Next time I'll have to make her join me.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Hiding/Surviving
Having two babies need you at the same time is a very daunting thing. Twins certainly aren't easy. I'm so glad I had them first. I didn't know any better or any different. Being exhausted was just a part of life the first few years after their arrival. Things didn't work out between me and their dad and by the time they were three months old he was gone. Although not gone completely, around enough to be annoying, but not helpful at all.
Living at my parents house with my two sisters I had the biggest bedroom since it fit the three of us. Sometimes everyone in the house was helpful. More often than not they weren't. Nightime was nice. It was mine. I could be in that big room with just my babies and relax. My bed, their two cribs, a little tv, we were good. At least as long as they were both sleeping at the same time. Sometimes I got lucky, sometimes I did not. One was a better sleeper than the other and would go down easily after his bottle. The other usually wound up in bed with me sometime in the middle of the night. It was the only way I was going to get any sleep. Then there were times they both would. I remember being so tired sometimes I'd wake up, check on the one in the crib, the one in the bed next to me, and then start to freak out cause I couldn't find the other one. "Oh wait, you're half asleep and he's right there in the crib where you checked on him two minutes ago. There are only two. It certainly felt like more on those bad nights. It was a great realization but showed how the exhaustion got to me. I knew I couldn't nap any during the day unless they both did also. I had four other people living in the house with me but I had to do it all and I had to do it right.
The large living room that at one time had been two bedrooms and a hallway became our world. The biggest playpen ever. The babies were blocked in that room because it was safest and easiest. And of course it was in the center of the house so everyone knew what I was doing with the kids and when. I used to use the bathroom for quick naps or quick getaway when I needed a break. Seriously, I would lie down on the floor in the bathroom and just close my eyes for a few minutes. 5, 10, maybe even 15. I could still hear the babies pretty well through the door. And of course everyone else. So I knew when my time was up. I jumped myself awake more than a few times off that bathroom floor. I didn't always catnap but the few quiet minutes to myself without being needed kept my sanity intact. Not sure if anything bad would have happened without that escape but I'm really glad I had it.
Forget about being sick. It was easier if they weren't when I was but how often would that happen really? Not too often. Although they would usually have the cold first and then pass it on to me. So, they would be bundles of energy crawling around wanting to play when I just wanted to crawl back up and into my bed. If only moms were that lucky. I remember once I was so done. So tired. So under the weather. I cocooned myself into a nice warm fuzzy blanket and lie down on the floor in the middle of the living room. Barney was on the tv so the boys were a little distracted. I just laid there and let them crawl all over me and lay on me and lean on me and flip over me till there hearts' content. I dozed a bit but just to get to lie there still and know they were fine and sort of rest was what I needed and had no other way of getting. I was probably there for an hour or two. Thank God for videotapes. (If only we had the DVR back then I could've stayed there all day.) You do what you have to do to survive. Especially with two!
Living at my parents house with my two sisters I had the biggest bedroom since it fit the three of us. Sometimes everyone in the house was helpful. More often than not they weren't. Nightime was nice. It was mine. I could be in that big room with just my babies and relax. My bed, their two cribs, a little tv, we were good. At least as long as they were both sleeping at the same time. Sometimes I got lucky, sometimes I did not. One was a better sleeper than the other and would go down easily after his bottle. The other usually wound up in bed with me sometime in the middle of the night. It was the only way I was going to get any sleep. Then there were times they both would. I remember being so tired sometimes I'd wake up, check on the one in the crib, the one in the bed next to me, and then start to freak out cause I couldn't find the other one. "Oh wait, you're half asleep and he's right there in the crib where you checked on him two minutes ago. There are only two. It certainly felt like more on those bad nights. It was a great realization but showed how the exhaustion got to me. I knew I couldn't nap any during the day unless they both did also. I had four other people living in the house with me but I had to do it all and I had to do it right.
The large living room that at one time had been two bedrooms and a hallway became our world. The biggest playpen ever. The babies were blocked in that room because it was safest and easiest. And of course it was in the center of the house so everyone knew what I was doing with the kids and when. I used to use the bathroom for quick naps or quick getaway when I needed a break. Seriously, I would lie down on the floor in the bathroom and just close my eyes for a few minutes. 5, 10, maybe even 15. I could still hear the babies pretty well through the door. And of course everyone else. So I knew when my time was up. I jumped myself awake more than a few times off that bathroom floor. I didn't always catnap but the few quiet minutes to myself without being needed kept my sanity intact. Not sure if anything bad would have happened without that escape but I'm really glad I had it.
Forget about being sick. It was easier if they weren't when I was but how often would that happen really? Not too often. Although they would usually have the cold first and then pass it on to me. So, they would be bundles of energy crawling around wanting to play when I just wanted to crawl back up and into my bed. If only moms were that lucky. I remember once I was so done. So tired. So under the weather. I cocooned myself into a nice warm fuzzy blanket and lie down on the floor in the middle of the living room. Barney was on the tv so the boys were a little distracted. I just laid there and let them crawl all over me and lay on me and lean on me and flip over me till there hearts' content. I dozed a bit but just to get to lie there still and know they were fine and sort of rest was what I needed and had no other way of getting. I was probably there for an hour or two. Thank God for videotapes. (If only we had the DVR back then I could've stayed there all day.) You do what you have to do to survive. Especially with two!
Awesome
I'm going to get a little sappy here so if that bothers you, you should probably stop reading right about now. I resigned from my library job almost two weeks ago. The first week was really quite hard. Especially that first Saturday. I felt completely lost. This one was much better. Considering it started out with a stop at the beach with my daughter how could it not be? Anyway, I'm still not sure if I'm going to go apply anywhere else but I'm getting used to not going to work. And I'm really liking it. This is my work, at least for now, and I'm loving it. Instead of being on my way to work right now, like I would have been, I'm writing. I'm thinking about making cookies when I'm done here. My husband went in to work extra today and may go in a few more days this week. He has been awesome throughout all of this. Though I have wanted him to tell me what to do. (It would just be easier than thinking and worrying about what's right.) He really hasn't. Even now he says I should "do what you want." Can't beat that. I know he's behind me no matter what and if money really gets that bad I know he'll tell me to find a job. In the meantime he's already planning next years vacation because he know we'll be fine no matter what.
In May and June this year he had two birthday parties for me. The first was a fake out. The second was amazing. I had noticed, all of a sudden, he was becoming friends with a lot of my friends on facebook. Some of these people I know he had never even met and had no clue who they were. I of course questioned him on it at dinner one night. He played stupid and said something about whats wrong with being friends with my friends. I knew something was up. It was the next day when I realized DUH my birthday was coming and obviously he was planning something. Being the sweet woman I am and since he already knew I was onto him, I posted to my facebook status, "So lots of my friends are now friends with my husband. Who wants to tell me what he's up to?" Got a few responses about surprizes but no details of course.
He had me beat completely. When he knew I was onto him he planned a fake crappy party. He specifically told people to come late and only a few of them to come. When I showed up for the fake surprise party there was one person here and a few showed up later, including his family. He had tons of food. I did exactly what he wanted and expected of me, bitched and complained about it. To everyone but him of course because at least he tried. He just could have done it better and I was disappointed.
Sure enough a few weeks later, boy did he do it better. I was completely surprized by the real party. There were like thirty people here, on time, to shock the Hell out of me. My sister loves the picture she got of my face coming in that she calls the 'pissed off I didn't figure it out face.' He even made a Jessica's Jeopardy game which was amazing. And included prizes. It was so much fun, everyone loved it. The party was great. He did an awesome job. He's done much more but I'll stop the flow of sap here, for now, and just say "Thanks honey, for everything, you're awesome!"
In May and June this year he had two birthday parties for me. The first was a fake out. The second was amazing. I had noticed, all of a sudden, he was becoming friends with a lot of my friends on facebook. Some of these people I know he had never even met and had no clue who they were. I of course questioned him on it at dinner one night. He played stupid and said something about whats wrong with being friends with my friends. I knew something was up. It was the next day when I realized DUH my birthday was coming and obviously he was planning something. Being the sweet woman I am and since he already knew I was onto him, I posted to my facebook status, "So lots of my friends are now friends with my husband. Who wants to tell me what he's up to?" Got a few responses about surprizes but no details of course.
He had me beat completely. When he knew I was onto him he planned a fake crappy party. He specifically told people to come late and only a few of them to come. When I showed up for the fake surprise party there was one person here and a few showed up later, including his family. He had tons of food. I did exactly what he wanted and expected of me, bitched and complained about it. To everyone but him of course because at least he tried. He just could have done it better and I was disappointed.
Sure enough a few weeks later, boy did he do it better. I was completely surprized by the real party. There were like thirty people here, on time, to shock the Hell out of me. My sister loves the picture she got of my face coming in that she calls the 'pissed off I didn't figure it out face.' He even made a Jessica's Jeopardy game which was amazing. And included prizes. It was so much fun, everyone loved it. The party was great. He did an awesome job. He's done much more but I'll stop the flow of sap here, for now, and just say "Thanks honey, for everything, you're awesome!"
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Remember Me
I am very surprised at how much I liked this movie. Being the star is Robert Pattinson, whom I know is a big thing cause of the stupid vampire movies right now, but I just don't get it. He's so not good to look at. Anyway, it seemed like a girly movie I'd like so I had to give it a shot. Also, have to get it back to the library tomorrow when it's due since I don't get my special 'who cares if it's late' perk because I don't work there anymore. I also had not heard anything good or bad about it so wasn't really sure what to expect. Read the back which said it took place in the summer of 2001. I thought that was great because, sort of like the Mosque they want to build at Ground Zero I think it's still a sensitive issue and not something I really want to see in a movie.
Popped it in and was quite confused at first. The opening scene and the second scene, ten years later, have completely different people in them. I was like "who the Hell are these people?" It's sorted out quickly enough but I wasn't really liking them. Was tempted to turn it off but the story was interesting so I kept it going. The characters grew in who they were and on me. The story got better and better. In reality people may not change that quick and that easy but oh my god what an ending. I'm sure it would not have surprised my husband since he loves to figure things out ahead of time. I like going for the ride and enjoying it and the feelings that come along with the surprises of it. I'm glad he didn't watch it with me as he may have ruined it and I so hate that.
It may not have the best actors but it has one of the Best Stories I have seen in a long time. There is a quote on the back of the dvd case saying how it "will become a part of you." I absolutely agree with it. I don't mind action or special effects in my movies but if it doesn't have a story what's the point in watching? At least I don't see one. If you're like me you'll love this movie.
Popped it in and was quite confused at first. The opening scene and the second scene, ten years later, have completely different people in them. I was like "who the Hell are these people?" It's sorted out quickly enough but I wasn't really liking them. Was tempted to turn it off but the story was interesting so I kept it going. The characters grew in who they were and on me. The story got better and better. In reality people may not change that quick and that easy but oh my god what an ending. I'm sure it would not have surprised my husband since he loves to figure things out ahead of time. I like going for the ride and enjoying it and the feelings that come along with the surprises of it. I'm glad he didn't watch it with me as he may have ruined it and I so hate that.
It may not have the best actors but it has one of the Best Stories I have seen in a long time. There is a quote on the back of the dvd case saying how it "will become a part of you." I absolutely agree with it. I don't mind action or special effects in my movies but if it doesn't have a story what's the point in watching? At least I don't see one. If you're like me you'll love this movie.
Sixteen
My babies will be turning sixteen in two weeks. It's amazing how time flies! My not so little cousin Heather just had her first baby yesterday. She is 19. I was 19. And time is going to really start to fly for her. Sixteen. When I think about what I was doing at sixteen, well I'm glad my boys aren't so much like me. They don't seem in much of a rush to grow up. I guess I wasn't either with certain things, like working or driving. But I was out and about all the time living it up at sixteen. They are more home bodies, or maybe even loners, or late bloomers. They don't seem to want to make plans and go out. I never wanted to be at home. Which is probably part of what had me having them at nineteen.
Boy, were things different baby-wise sixteen years ago. I guess the amount of multiples has jumped so much, and mom inventors, that there is so much extra baby stuff one "must have" nowadays. Shopping carts didn't even have a double seat back then. I couldn't go out with the kids myself. I needed someone to push the other cart with the other baby in it. There were no infant seats that went from in the car to hook onto the grocery cart. Nice and easy now. I had one huge car seat for each of them that lasted until they were 4. After that there wasn't any of this booster seat baloney. Kids are supposed to be in a booster till something like 8 years old now! Unless they weigh more sooner or something I think. What about less? My son was so skinny he'd have been in one until he was 12, going by the weight! I had infant carriers. That was all they were for. Take the kid out of the car seat put him in the carrier to get around. And of course if they couldn't sit up yet that seat had to go in the back of the cart. Forget about getting much shopping done, there was barely any room back there with the kid in the cart. There weren't any infant double strollers either. Well not the ones you could fold up and put in your car anyway. The double umbrella stroller I had was too wide to fit through most aisles in the stores. I started to feel for people with disabilities in wheelchairs because that was about how wide the stroller was. I had a huge front and back stroller with huge wheels and springs for just walking around the neighborhood. There was no way this thing was fitting in a car. Although with the SUV's now maybe it would.
A lot of things they have are better and make life easier on mom. But some are really crazy, like the baby wipe warmer. Because why should the child suffer with a cold towel cleaning his bottom when it could be nice and warm. Well, when it gets nice and warm it'll dry out the towel and it won't work. Then you have to wet it all over again! Of course you can't have a walker that'll help your child to walk because too many stupid people didn't watch their children and let them fall down stairs. I don't know if me and my kids were better off because I always had my mother with me at their doctor visits. And in the car after telling me what part of what he said I should listen to and what part to ignore. Like Mom said have them start cereal at 3 months. when the Dr. said start cereal we started onto fruits. When he said start fruits, we were on to veggies. Every age has different rules and standards of whats good and what not. Every kid has different things that will work for them. Every mother too. You know best mom no matter what the Dr. says.
Times are certainly different. And my babies aren't babies anymore. My husband even took one of them out driving for the first time yesterday in a school parking lot he knew had plenty of space in it. I don't want to know about it. I don't want to think about it. I'm in no rush for them to drive. They have also been told that they won't be helped learning to drive or even be able to get their permit until they get jobs and show some kind of responsibility. My one son keeps his room as a disaster area. He has no respect for any of the things he is given. Driving isn't a right, it's a privilege. He'll learn that the hard way if he has to. My other son seems to have tunnel vision all the time. He's focused straight ahead and has no clue whats going on around him in his peripheral view. That's no way to drive. Maybe it's too much tv, video game, computer time. Maybe it's just how he's always been. No matter, he needs to break out of that before he's allowed on the road. So we're hoping jobs will help and we'll see. I may only have two years left with these babies of mine at home with me. Anything is possible so that definitely is too. In that time I hope I can teach them everything they need to know about being on their own. If that's where their road takes them.
Boy, were things different baby-wise sixteen years ago. I guess the amount of multiples has jumped so much, and mom inventors, that there is so much extra baby stuff one "must have" nowadays. Shopping carts didn't even have a double seat back then. I couldn't go out with the kids myself. I needed someone to push the other cart with the other baby in it. There were no infant seats that went from in the car to hook onto the grocery cart. Nice and easy now. I had one huge car seat for each of them that lasted until they were 4. After that there wasn't any of this booster seat baloney. Kids are supposed to be in a booster till something like 8 years old now! Unless they weigh more sooner or something I think. What about less? My son was so skinny he'd have been in one until he was 12, going by the weight! I had infant carriers. That was all they were for. Take the kid out of the car seat put him in the carrier to get around. And of course if they couldn't sit up yet that seat had to go in the back of the cart. Forget about getting much shopping done, there was barely any room back there with the kid in the cart. There weren't any infant double strollers either. Well not the ones you could fold up and put in your car anyway. The double umbrella stroller I had was too wide to fit through most aisles in the stores. I started to feel for people with disabilities in wheelchairs because that was about how wide the stroller was. I had a huge front and back stroller with huge wheels and springs for just walking around the neighborhood. There was no way this thing was fitting in a car. Although with the SUV's now maybe it would.
A lot of things they have are better and make life easier on mom. But some are really crazy, like the baby wipe warmer. Because why should the child suffer with a cold towel cleaning his bottom when it could be nice and warm. Well, when it gets nice and warm it'll dry out the towel and it won't work. Then you have to wet it all over again! Of course you can't have a walker that'll help your child to walk because too many stupid people didn't watch their children and let them fall down stairs. I don't know if me and my kids were better off because I always had my mother with me at their doctor visits. And in the car after telling me what part of what he said I should listen to and what part to ignore. Like Mom said have them start cereal at 3 months. when the Dr. said start cereal we started onto fruits. When he said start fruits, we were on to veggies. Every age has different rules and standards of whats good and what not. Every kid has different things that will work for them. Every mother too. You know best mom no matter what the Dr. says.
Times are certainly different. And my babies aren't babies anymore. My husband even took one of them out driving for the first time yesterday in a school parking lot he knew had plenty of space in it. I don't want to know about it. I don't want to think about it. I'm in no rush for them to drive. They have also been told that they won't be helped learning to drive or even be able to get their permit until they get jobs and show some kind of responsibility. My one son keeps his room as a disaster area. He has no respect for any of the things he is given. Driving isn't a right, it's a privilege. He'll learn that the hard way if he has to. My other son seems to have tunnel vision all the time. He's focused straight ahead and has no clue whats going on around him in his peripheral view. That's no way to drive. Maybe it's too much tv, video game, computer time. Maybe it's just how he's always been. No matter, he needs to break out of that before he's allowed on the road. So we're hoping jobs will help and we'll see. I may only have two years left with these babies of mine at home with me. Anything is possible so that definitely is too. In that time I hope I can teach them everything they need to know about being on their own. If that's where their road takes them.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Who Your Friends Are
Are you friends for real or are you friends just because you happen to be stuck working together? I've been surprised by a few of the answers I've found out after my recent forced resignment. Text someone I was leaving high and dry the next day because of resigning. Felt bad, wanted to talk and give her the story figuring she'd understand. Still have not heard from her! Think maybe she didn't get the text but even then by now she's knows whats going on. Shouldn't she have maybe called me?? Another who left the job a few years before me heard about it last night and immediately called this morning to find out what the heck was going on. When I didn't call back right away she called another coworker to find out. Maybe she just wanted the good juicy info, but I really don't think so. Maybe she was just being a better friend than I knew. When I did call back I was happy I didn't have to rehash the whole thing again and we could just chat about it and other things. And set a lunch date for next week.
I'm sure the people I've left still working there aren't sure how to react as the situation was so insane. But I also thought I'd hear a little something from more of them. Especially now in this technological age where we are all friends on facebook too. In a few more weeks I may be dropping some friends. :) As my husband will tell you I'm an emotional person and don't have much problem showing them. Of course this is not true of a lot of people but with all the detatched sentiment thrown about the web anyway is it that hard to post a little "miss you, sorry for what happened." Or when I'm in the building on the opposite side of my old desk to completely ignore me? Again certain situations it's tough to know what to do. I'm like that with death. I don't want any part of it and don't want to think about it. Maybe I'll send a card or if i see you a quick 'I'm sorry about so and so ' and I'm done. Some people are just better with sticky situations than others. I'm proof of it too but I'm still your friend... I hope.
I'm sure the people I've left still working there aren't sure how to react as the situation was so insane. But I also thought I'd hear a little something from more of them. Especially now in this technological age where we are all friends on facebook too. In a few more weeks I may be dropping some friends. :) As my husband will tell you I'm an emotional person and don't have much problem showing them. Of course this is not true of a lot of people but with all the detatched sentiment thrown about the web anyway is it that hard to post a little "miss you, sorry for what happened." Or when I'm in the building on the opposite side of my old desk to completely ignore me? Again certain situations it's tough to know what to do. I'm like that with death. I don't want any part of it and don't want to think about it. Maybe I'll send a card or if i see you a quick 'I'm sorry about so and so ' and I'm done. Some people are just better with sticky situations than others. I'm proof of it too but I'm still your friend... I hope.
Friday, August 20, 2010
Starting Over
I never expected to be at my job at the library for very long. I never expected I'd be forced to resign from it. Of course both those things happened and life is quite strange right now. Took an awesome 25 day road trip cross country with the family in July. August has pretty much sucked and I'd like it to be over already. Also I'd like to know what the heck I'm going to do now. What I know is come September I may not be itching to be back at work as much as I am now because school will start and there will be a lot less togetherness than there is now. After the road trip and now being home all the time I'm feeling a little too much togetherness. But is jumping right back into another library job, should i even be able to get one, the right thing to do? I HATE CHANGE. This forced change may be the kick in the butt I need to attempt the dream. Stay home with the kids and write was always what I had planned. Of course that would mean making money from writing but reality is what it is and who really makes money from writing. So here I am again to take another stab at...??? something here anyway to keep me writing. At least staying home with the kids now extends to other peoples kids and I'm making a little money that way. It's a start I guess. I feel like I need a gimmick to click with people, to be successful, to get people to read me, to make something out of it. You know like from the movie Julie and Julia and the year she took to cook everything. Same with sh#t my dad says, tweets to book to tv show. Can't I be that lucky? Won't know unless I try. But for now I guess the gimmick is just me.
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