3:30am

it's not always jakes fault i'm up in the middle of the night but when he does wake me i of course have to pee. last night freezing my ass off my stomach was growling something fierce. i was like really its three freaking thirty in the morning. of course i've been going to bed with my stomach growling at me lots lately as i know its good and i don't need to eat at 9pm all the time, or any of the time for that matter. and it's hard when again my hubby brings up a bowl of ice cream and sits next to me on the bed and eats it. thank god i was pretty tired and halfway to dreamland at that point or i just may have said screw it and gotten up and got my ice cream.
jake hasn't been feeling good so i had to go sit with him for a few minutes until he went back to sleep. it really didn't take him long and i was off to pee. and growl growl growl my stomach was not stopping. and i was like is it really worth it to be this hungry and not listen. well at 3:30am hell yes it is. and if i could say no at 9pm i could make it till it was actually time to get up for the day. of course it is. 5lbs is no joke and my dress pants i loved wearing to work are getting to be comfortable to wear again. i am no longer afraid of busting out of them while i am here. so i can actually feel results and thats got to keep me going. its definitely going to be worth it when i fit in all the pairs of shorts i bought the summer i was the skinniest three years ago. they will all be coming with me on this nice long road trip we are planning and i'll be one hot momma trekking across the usa with the fam. :) and i can show myself off along with all the fun things we did when i show everyone the pics when we get back. so yeah i have a clear goal in mind. and yeah i damn well better get there.
saturdays are the hardest days. breakfast is always easy and i like to keep it that way. my hubby even made my toast for me this morning. thanks babe. it's my day to get take out and i try to keep it cheap. went through wendys stuck to a burger and small fries. should have got the value ones i know but i didn't. and then i was getting a chili and cheese for the guard at work today so i got one for me too. it just sounded too good and this freezing cold winter day. so i had half the chili of course the top half with all the cheese and left the rest for my dad. the jr bacon cheeseburger. and i ate the bacon instead of taking it off like i usually do. and the yummy fries. and then i had the coupons. back in oct i bought the book of free jr frosties. used them once and lo and behold the expire tomorrow. so i got five. no i did not eat them all. i had a vanilla one with lunch. the four chocolates are in the freezer here at work to bring home for dessert. the big boys will be with their dad by the time i get home so four is perfect. i also requested dinner be chinese when i get ther. mainly so i do not have to think about it when i get home. and also it has been awhile. and in know chinese is a magic word for my husband. all i have to say is i want it and he's fine with getting it for dinner, lunch whenever. it is his favorite and he can eat it every day practically. so dinner may be heavy too. so i won't weigh myself again till monday because 153 today i'm sure will not be there tomorrow. and i'll give myself sunday to bounce back and catch up.
i also do not have time to exercise saturdays too often. or i don't really want to cause its been a long day so most times i give myself a pass. i'm tired and i want to relax. though with the bike and can get on while we watch a movie or something but it is quite distracting. if i want to keep up my good work i will have to do better on saturdays. and thats also where warmer weather will be helpful. but today that seems quite a ways off. and snuggling up eating and watching movies when i get home sounds just soo much better.

water tricks

it's taken me awhile but i think i'm finally getting into a routine i'm happy with. i'm trying t remember and do all the little tricks that helped me the first time around. one thing i learned was how many calories i was wasting by drinking them up. it was quite surprising. i'm not the biggest fan of water but i like that i can have as much as i want and it's not extra wasteful calories. what sucks it getting up to pee especially at night cause i'm drinking so much. i do actually drink a lot. i am very thirsty. and i have read that a lot of times we think we are hungry we are really thirsty so i always try drinking first and esp. if i'm bust and don't have time to get something good to eat yet.
when i get up in the morn i've discovered i really am thirsty. too bad the first thing i usually drink is choc milk with my toast. well that could be quite wasteful calories as i'm barely tasting it just gulping it down. so i have my trusty doctored water bottle nice and cold ready to go for me in the morning. i add some crystal light lemonade to it so it has a little flavor at least. and as i'm making up our toast and choc milk for breakfast i'm swigging on my watedr bottle and not extra choc milk and extra calories that i'm not even tasting. i save it for when my toast is done and i can sit and eat and drink and taste. because when your eating less you have to make it all count and make sure u take your time with it. sure i'm usually reading the paper too but at least i'm sitting.
so as long as i have my water at the ready at all times i know i can grab that instead of something else wasteful to try and fill me up some first before i grab whatever meal i'm at. and if i'm drinking while i'm getting the food ready i'm filling up on the water and i'll eat less. because i'm constantly refilling the same bottle (go ahead tell me thats bad but it saves me $ and saves some plastic from filling up the landfills) it's hard to tell how much i'm actually drinking. but i believe its anywhere between 2 or 3 of those big 700ml bottles. or 1pint 7.7fl oz. whatever. it's a lot and it seems to be working.
153 today and am so happy i am much closer to 150 than 160 finally. i think my attitude adjustment is helping. if i'm into it and know i can do it i feel better about me. i feel better about exercising. i feel better about eveything. and that's just so much better.

5lbs!

154 baby. officially 5lbs gone. and i hope never to see them again. and i'll work my ass off to make that more a reality than a dream. just completed 20 miles on the bike. took me 100 mins. and burned 1156 calories. so that devil dog i had with jake this morning at my dads is a thing of the past. glad i also had him buy a case of water while we were shopping so then i had only water till i got home and ate my healthy lean cuisine lunch. heres something really strange, i actually look forward to eating them now. nice and easy i do not have to think about what i;m makin me for lunch and how many calories are in it. its most always filling of course i make sure i drink a ton of water with the ones that are less so before i go eat anything else. and they are more often than not quite tasty. i like trying the new different stuff. and the rice and noodles are pretty good without a ton of sauce and butter on them. now if only i could figure out how to make them for the fam and actually get them to eat it like that. hahahaha
so i stick with them for lunch now and know its good for me. and i'm happy eating them. i look forward to it. i saved(hid) a leftover slice of pizza from the other night. yesterday i had other leftovers i could better add up what the caloried were in my head. today because of the devil dog i figured i had to eat the better lunch. but beyond that i actually wanted it not the pizza. strange strange strange. guess its good that for $2 i can try something different and know its better for me than some of the crap i'd normally make for myself. and feel good eating it knowing whats in it. yeah sure its not perfect its processed and high in sodium but still its better than picking all day, or steak umms and chips or grilled cheese or a big fat buttery bagel.
i've actually been craving a buttered roll for some reason lately. could be my girlfriend had one for lunch at work a few sundays ago and its been ages since i've had one so i'm thinking a stop for one soon may be in order. the longer i have it in my head the more i want it. so i just have to give in and go get it. before i wind up wolfing down 3 of them by them time i go get one :)
fit into a new(old) pair of jeans today. ones i haven't worn in awhile. although my old fav's i put on yesterday and forced myself to keep on for punishment i ripped off the minute i got home! so i'm thinking maybe i really did run that pair through the dryer at some point in time. these were the go to comfy jeans for when i felt fat and bloated and gross and had to go out. now they just suck. they are so uncomfy maybe the fit is off. i may just have to toss them as i at least have 2 pairs that fit and are comfy right now.
the summer vacation shorts is really what i have to make sure i can fit in. i have a few pairs still in one of my drawers and though i can get the jean pair on and zipped boy theres a dozen muffins coming out of my top if not more. and they hurt. so i keep going. january is almost over already but even if i'm still at 5 i think it's pretty damn good to start i just need to stay on the right road. i need some more warmer days though. i like being outside and i miss being outside. think that was a big part of my mood last week. certains i'm just going to have to put on the big coat hat and gloves and get out for a bit as long as the sun is shining. i need to be out there.

ups and downs

when i got up yesterday, or i should say when jacob got me up yesterday i was in a pretty foul mood. had been for the few days before that too. not too sure why. probably a combination of things. i was really frustrated with the whole weight loss thing. feeling like its not working and what the hells the point. of course all i have to do is try to get dressed for work and i know. as it was yesterday i tried on probably four different outfits before giving up and just wearing whatever i had on last and didn't give a shit what i looked like.
i really wanted to be done, to not care. i still haven't seen my husband get back to the gym why am i pushing myself? i'll just buy new clothes that fit screw it! but i only think this way for so long. i'd rather spend that money on cheesy souvenirs and what not on our vacation. i really want to be happy looking at myself in pictures like i was. i don't want to hide from them or refuse to look at them cause i don't like the way i look. i want to feel good about me.
i was still 157, 156 every other day and i was quite pissed. today i got a 155 but again i really need a new scale cause it also gave me a 169 but i must have done something majorly wrong for that to come up. and again with all the err messages soon i will get a new one. so i figured i really needed to do my tae bo again but i just didn't want to. i decided if i do the marathon 26.2 miles on the bike than its ok if i didn't do the tae bo. i could also watch all my shows while i was on it and get off every few miles as needed. well i did 27 miles. i did stop for more than a minute or two every five miles but i also didn't just stop at 5 miles i made sure i hit 300 calories burned too. so once i hit 26.2 i was going to stop but figured i could get to that 27 and hit 400 calories on that one and i did. total 1600 calories burned. i'm sure i ate more than that today as we got pizza for dinner and i did have that second slice. i'm just hoping for 155 tomoro and it'll be all good. but i'm in a much better mind set today and paced myself with dinner and didn't wolf down two slices but had one and waited awhile before i went back for the other. of course the leftover popcorn i ate as a snack wasn't too good but that was my only snack of the day. lean cuisine 290 fish meal at lunch and toast slice and sm choc milk for breakfast. i am pretty happy with myself today. tomorrow we'll do billy again

take out

did it again. got mcdonalds with the kiddies last night and got an extra cheeseburger for dad or andrew or jake. sometimes he wants one mainly to play with but rarely ever eats. of course who winds up eating it? me. yup. of course. and i had to finish what was left of emilys, about half a burger. and of course had my own mcchicken. tho i do take off the lettuce and most of the mayo and only eat half the roll. that still doesn't make it all better. only had a small glass of soda being we ate at my dads. so maybe that makes up for getting the large fries which i'm sure i ate most of even though they were meant to be shared. i just can't stop eating extra when its food not from home. so i've got to wrap my head around it and get on the correct page.
i will have whatever fast food or even restaurant food it is again. i do not have to eat it all in one sitting it will be there for me another time. i will drink more water with my meals and have to finish off a glass before eating extra i know i don't need. i will give myself time to feel full instead of gorging myself so fast by the time my stomach catches up with all i've loaded into it it doesn't feel like its going to explode.
156 today. very surprised after the mcdonalds fest last night. was really missing my fudge dainty cookies tho in my chocolate neediness. found and old ream of girl scout thin mints. well not really found just knew where they were hiding and no one else has found them. so ate four of those instead. should hopefully be over this chocolate craziness soon. although i think part of it is knowing its in the house. if theres yummy chocolate and i know it, i feel i crave it more.
tae bo cradio already in and done for the day. i def feel like it does a lot. i sweat my butt off and stink real bad when i do it with the bands like your supposed too. so hopefully it'll start showing sooner or later. i have a tae bo ab one too. done it once or twice i think since i've started this but i feel like i really need it. i think there had been an 8 min abs dvd i had found at the library last time maybe i should get that again then at least its only 8 min as opposed to the 30 of the tae bo one. will haved to look when i'm at work saturday.

chocolate chocolate chocolate

its damn hard to stick to exercising and eating better when martha comes for a visit. yes martha is my monthly friend if you haven't read me before and didn't know thats my loing name for her. not really just something one of my girlfriends made up in high school and it has stuck with me evr since. love ya stacey! anyway so i've been trying and i didn't even weigh myself for a day or two because i knew i wasn't going to like it. this morning i was 155, 155, 156, 157, 157, 157. so 157 wins and it sucks. so hopefully i can blame it on some bloating and will drop an extra 2lbs when she leaves the building. hahaha.
of course its probably because i can't keep myself away from the chocolate. when i hit the grocery store last week one of my treats i got was those striped dainty cookies. have loved them since i was a kid and they were shaped more like flowers than the plain old circles they are now. well i picked them up and put them down like three times before i said screw it and bought them. it had been quite awhile since i'd had them. they are still as good as i remember i just wish they had lasted longer. there were four rows in the package and it took me four days to eat them all. i guess it was good i kept myself to a row a day but it was still 8 cookies a day. which i guess isn't so bad. of course i had to also have big old glasses of extra chocolately chocolate milk. and sometimes throw in some ice cream efore i finshed it off. though thats not really true i let jake finish it after i had mine that day. i really wanted to drive thru mcdonalds and have a hot fudge sundae after work last night but i talked myself out of it as my after work drive thrus got me 205 in the first place.
when marthas here chocolate is my best friend. have to have it. and i mean HAVE TO. you really don't want to be around me if i don't have it. so 157 again at least for today. hopefully it won't last long. i put on a skirt for work last night that i thought should have fit. it was snug but closed and not fun to sit down in. i almost changed out of it but decided if i wear it and torture myself in it i'll remember more why i NEED to lose weight. whats funny is i can look at myself in the mirror before i get dressed and think that i really don't look too bad. its when i put my clothes on and they don't fit that makes me look really bad and hate where my body is at.
so i was trying for much better eating and had only cereal for breakfast the past two days. well i couldn't even go two days. when i took emilys toast plate to toss the crusts she pulled off i ate one and then andother and of course wound up eating all the pieces of crust she did not want. so i need to have my toast in the morning cause iots really what i want. guess i'll save the cereal for a snack or something later in the day if i need one.
after five days of sort of working out i finally did my tae bo cardio with the bands today. i did it without the bands on sunday. my body just wasn't having the extra push that day. i rode the bike for a few days in a row 5 miles one day 10 another and 8 another. so i'm trying to use it more but since i hate the rolls of my stomach so much i feel i would be better off doing something else that aims in that area. just have to find something i like besides 1000 crunches. :)

bike stays

put on the biggest loser from tues night and got on the bike. i've found the key to not killing my ass on it is to get up for a minute or two every few miles. sure i had to get off after one to get something for jake. but then i just got up walked to the kitchen got a quick slug of water and got back on every 2-3 miles. in total i was on the bike 88mins. biked 15 miles! and burned 800 and something calories. like i said efors who knows if those stats are true but hey they are quite nice to see. so the bike is def staying. maybe i will try to build myself up to doing the full 26.2 miles one of these days. sounds like a challenge. either way as long as i'm on it a few times a week i think its worth keeping in the living room. esp when i was 156 this morning. i think i may need a new scale though. you've got to tap it wait for zero to come up and then get on. well quite a few times it kept coming up err instead of the zero and there was no good reason. it is pretty old so maybe sooner than later i'll get myself a new one. it also gave me 156 a few times. then when i went back like 5 mins later it gave me 154 2x. so of course another five mins i try again i got a 155 and two 156 so 156. very nice. guess the 15 miles paid off.
got in my tae bo cardio again already. go me. not sure what else i want to do today maybe the bike maybe the abs video maybe the biggest loser game. or some combination of any of them. we'll see what the day brings. no babysitting so i'm open. i've got the first season of ally mcbeal from the library. loved that show and its been so long since i've seen it the bike may win out so i can exercise and watch. :) it's been sitting on my shelf for a week already and should probably go back already. oopsie!
well it is friday isn't it so i guess my official lose is now 3lbs in 2 weeks. not to shabby esp. compared with my stats i found when sometime sit was only 3lbs in a month. i've still got two weeks to go here. i actually think i ate pretty good yesterday. have to remember that fiber needs to be my friend. when you eat it you feel fuller so anything with fiber is always better. when i'm fuller i eat less. hey doesn't that make sense. so when i was in the grocery store weds i bought myself some lean cuisine meals. they were like 4 for $10 or something so i figured what the hell. i had tried some once before again when they were on sale just to make some lunches for me easier. they aren't that bad. some taste pretty good. yesterday i had a quesadilla. can't remember exactly which one it was as when i picked it out in the store there were a few diff kinds. i'm pretty sure it had chicken in it. anyway the calories were great like 280 or something maybe 290. the fiber was 8 grams which is pretty high. but the sodium was like 800 milligrams or something which i believe is pretty freakin high. so its tough i mean the calories are what u look for first but there is other stuff to consider. it was ok. spicy for me but i ate the whole thing. and boy was i full after eating it. but would i buy that one again. most likely no.
whats funny is before i ate lunch as i was biking and watching the biggest loser i was getting quite hungry. well in the episode they have the orange team with jillian and she has to eat some of what they would have eaten in a day. so she starts uncovering the trays and its all taco bell food. and i'm like mmmmmmmmm. yummy! i could so go for some taco bell. sort of like that movie supersize me where all he ate every meal was mcdonalds to show how bad it was for you. well only stupid people eat it every meal and theres nothing wrong with it once in awhile and boy i couldn't wait to have mcdonalds after watching that movie. anyway so the biggest losre showed the calores with each tray and two were my favs the fiesta potatoes and the mexican pizza. i even rewound to read them and together they were something like 800 calories. so now to me thats like 88 mins on the bike i was doing. so put in that perspective its like eww. but it's still not going to stop me from going to taco bell. jillian went on and on about how it wasn't food. it was processed crap and oils and all that. all i was thinking was 'but its tastes sooo good.' when healthy food tastes as good and is as cheap as crappy food i'll start buying and eating more of it. in the meantime i may be having taco bell very soon now. :) all about the cravings. you see it you crave it.
i don't know why everything fried up in oil tastes so much better it just does. in 2007 i tossed my deep fryer. i was def using it waaaaay too much. like once a week or so. anyway for a long time i didn't fry up anything in oil. it was all baked. i still had fries and mozz sticks and even onion rings every now and then but i would put them in the oven. over the past 6 months or more i got back into frying things. i was thinking about getting a new deep fryer again. bad bad choice i know cause then it's too easy to do it. and i won't but the thought was there and the tastes were there more and more often. so i have to start again weaning myself off of it more and more. not frying anything in the house just treating myself once in awhile when i'm out.

2007

in 2007 the family got season passes to the six flags parks and we went to great adventure something like 10 times and took a trip to the six flags by dc and actually took the kids to dc took. and also went up to the park in ma and also hit my garfield park in conneticut while we were up there. anyway when looking at pictures from the first trip and any trip to the parks that year for the first time i a long time i was really happy with what i saw. i was also surprised at first. i really couldn't believe i looked that skinny. so i was thrilled. think it only appropriate that as we are planning to get the six flags passes again this year and do a major trip to most of the parks and of course side ones and great adventure a few times i should look as good in the pictures this time around as i did then. so just a little extra motivation for me. :)
yesterday i ran around and did shopping with roxanne and jake in tow. also had roxanne pretty much all day. so thats my excuse for doing nothing more than my sit ups and squats in the morning. really i just didn't feel like it. so i didn't do it. i also didn't help things by buying some yummy things in the supermarket i usually don't buy since i am rarely in the supermarket. and then of course once i got home ate some of each thing cause it was there.
wasn't expecting much but of course had to weigh myself this morning just to see. wouldn't you know it i'm 156. how freakin crazy is that. so it felt really good and got me moving in the right direction today. already did my tae bo cardio, this time made it the whole way through with the bands on. i had tried the bands on tues but couldn't finish with them. so yeah for me. i also couldn't even watch the biggest loser yesterday as i was being a fat slob sitting on the couch eating while i watched tv. i watched the good wife instead. great show if you've yet to watch. love julianna margolies and of course mr. big chris noth. anyway today i plan to watch the show while riding the bike i moved into the living room. i have only used it twice since its come in the house and am already thinking of moving it back out. we'll see after today i guess but i feel i should b using it more for it to be taking up prime space in my living room. guess we'll see what i do on it today and how my ass feels after it.

patience and stats

i did a little research on myself yesterday. i love that i keep everything. found the pepers where i kept track of what i was losing back in 2007. basically i copied the kids school calendar and wrote in what i weighed each day. but i only wrote in when i lost something. so if i was 157 for a week i didn't keep wrioting it i just wrote the day i was finally 156. and no i cannot not weigh myself every day i just don't think i need to write about it. i've started a new calendar for this year and hopefully i'll see some changes like i did before.
by january 2007 i had gotten myself down to 151 by july i hit 129. I only stayed there until the holidays i'm guessing in 2007. see when i hit 129 i didn't completely stop doing what i had been doing but slowly gave it all up and u can see what happened after that. i've done little things the past few years to try to stay down but not enough. not hard enough not serious enough to really make a difference. by march 2008 i was 136, april up to 140, august 147, and jan 09 150. so here we are jan 2010 and i'm 159. nice slow add on but here is where i'm stuck.
i'm focusing on 2007 though and hoping to do what i did then and drop 22lbs before summer. it wasn't easy but i did it. i stuck with it and did it. that is of course the hardest part because as i weigh in at 157 day after day lately i'm ready to say screw it. but heres my proof that if i don't i'll be ok. the most i lost in a month was 7lbs. the least well i had gained 2 in may. so there u go. patience. i've got to build some back up and know that i can do it if i wait for it and work for it like i did before. and maybe i'll just be a lot closer to that 129 again for the summer :)

159 157 157

yeah so i missed yesterday, just didn't get a chance before work as rob and i were getting into the big summer vaca trip we've been working on for july. like the whole month of july. we're driving cross country and hitting 7 six flags parks(love those season passes with admission to every park) grand canyon and a few other stops for fun or necessity. then went to my dads after work and of course ate bad with soda while the kids were spoiled because now that santa works at walmart and knows he can get zhu zhu pet stuff and thomas trains there's always new toys for the kiddies when we come over. not to mention the alvin and the chipmunk toys from the mcdonalds happy meals he gets too since theres a mcdonalds in walmart. great to have connections.
so anyway shocked the shit out of me when i weighed 159 yesterday morning. knew it wasn't going to be 156 like the day before but was not expecting 159. i was pissed and before i even ate breakfast made sure and did the tae bo cardio 40 min workout. felt good and was happy after that. even though i was gross and badly in need of a shower. anyway before i got in the shower and hour or two later weighed in at 157 which was much much better! am thinking i should try to only weigh myself once a week and maybe not get so crazy but don't know that i can hold true to that. maybe i'll see if i can do it this week and at least wait till fri. we'll find out 2moro if i can i guess. the cardio tae bo was all i got in yesterday but of course better than nothing. oh and i do forget to count the squats while teeth brushing and the 50-100 crunches in the morning before i do anything else. they've become so routine now at leat i have that much. maybe this cardio tape can become a routine.
have not gotten to it yet today as the oil man was supposed to come to do the cleaning today at like 9-9:30. well its almost 10:30 now so needless to say if he doesn't show up soon i'll be working out instead of calling to see if he's coming cause i'd rather work out first than worry about somebody showing up in the middle of it. no babysitting till later so i've got till the kids come home from school to get to it. :)
now that we are heavily getting into the trip planning for summer i'm thinking my paranoia will help me get my ass in motion and lose some of this weight. i barely fit in my shorts and stuff for disney last year and stuck to like the same three pairs of shorts. no fun there when i have so many cute others i could be wearing. so i know as of this writing i wouldn't fit into any of em and thats no damn good. i'd rather have extra $ for this trip than have to spend it buying myself a biggger size binch of shorts for the trip! so a little extra motivation. i do have time until july like a whole 6 months but if i start thinking that way i'lll start being lazy about it. now since i have all that time if i got too skinny and had to buy smaller shorts well that i might be able to rationalize :) hahahaha who am i freaking kidding. don't think thats got much of a chance at becoming a reality but hey we can all dream right? :)

156 again

too bad i figure it'll be fleeting. i didn't do any exercise today unless you call running my ass off around the desk at work to help all the idiots who had to get out in the freezing cold for the free movies cd's and books today. what a freakin madhouse. had great plans to bike while watching the game when i got home but my ass is killing me from riding it 2 days in a row. my legs are fine. so i may have to do something about the seat or my ass will have to get used to it. so i made popcorn sat on the couch and watched some of the game, while i made dinner and finished up all the other crap around the house i don't want to do tomorrow.
will be calling it an early night as after my great sleep of 2 nights ago last night found myself unable to fall back asleep for a good two hours and then was woken up at 6:30 to naked jake crying in his room cause he wet himelf in the bed and needed new clothes. what a way to start the day. i couldn't get back to sleep again but at least he did for a bit. will do a few sit ups before bed to go with the few i did this morning right after getting out of bed. but thats all i'm done today and i don't give a crap!

1 week 2 lbs

i guess thats really not too bad for the first week huh? it just sucks cause it seemed like i had a shot at a lot more. of course we all know it's never that easy so why would i even think that. endless hope i suppose. so i'm holding at 157. weighed myself anout ten times already today. got a 156 twice but also a 158 once. and of course 157 at least five times so that's where i am. i am also stuck upstairs in the corner of my bedroom today since my hubby forgot to reconnect the wireless last night. i'm getting extra exercise in running up and down the stairs so i can actually get on the internet today. but typing here is annoying the shit out of me because i'm so used to my laptop i'm making tons of annoying mistakes i have to keep going back to fix and that's taking even more time and i already know i'll be lucky if i get in all i want to do today!
while running around yesterday i actually remembered to hit kmart for my xmas present for myself and got the biggest loser wii game while it was still on sale. of course i played it about 15 minutes yesterday just to try it out but really have yet to get into it. so far i like it a lot cause it weighed me in at 154lbs. so just like that i lost and extra 3 lbs isn't that great. haha. i've got to stick to the scale unless of course i really get into the game and start doing it religiously. you never know, stranger things have happened but i just feel almost like doing these games and all these other things i've been doing the past week have been to avoid doing a real workout like i was doing before and i know worked. so maybe i've got to try to get both in or at the least every other day switch off.
this morning i did the tae bo 40 min fat blasting cardio i had been doing like every day when i was got to my lowest weight. it really didn't want to and in the begining i was just going though the motions. as i kept going it got better and i felt better that i was sticking with it and actually able to do it. it was hard and i was gross and sweaty but i finished the damn thing. even if i had to stop a few times for jake and the phone. thats really hard to keep going after u get interrupted but i knew i had to finish. so i did and i feel good.
my knee was not feeling so good. after the bike yesterday i was exhaused. my whole body hurt and when the little guys went to bed at 9 last night i did too. i was done! i was sure i would barely be able to walk this morning but i felt really good. i could barely make it up the stairs to get to bed. i also slept up till the alarm went off to get emily up, with a few quick wake ups overnight but that was about 11 hours! i guess i really needed the extra sleep. :) and it paid off. sure my knees weren't thrilled when i did the squats in the dvd but i got through them with a little pain. i figure as long as they didn't give out on me i was good ! :)
so now jake is harassing me up here for this computer and since its the only one working i guess he'll be having a turn. i'm going to go play some biggest loser wii and hope he leaves me alone and is happy playing here for a bit.

still 157

not surprised there. i didn't do all too much yesterday and when i did do the 8minutes it was no longer tiring me out and i felt i needed to do more. 2moro will start a new dvd that is longer and more challenging. just didn't get to it today. barely made it here.
i walked while watching the biggest loser yesterday. well for an hour of it anyway. wasn't too easy with roxie crawling around but she was pretty good. while i was watching and walking i got a great idea. i was planning on taking the xmas tree down when i had finished and then watching the first challenge when they had to bike a marathon i thought oooh i could get the exercise bike in here where the tree is. my sister gave me hers a few years ago. we've never had room in the house for it so it's stayed outside and gets some use in the spring and summer. but now that we moved things to get the tree in the living room i figured why not put the bike in its place till spring again adn then move it back outside. i'm sure my husband thinks i'm nuts. i gave him a head up text about it but he never really responded to it.
heres my thinking, we live in that living room. i'm going to feel guilty sitting on my ass watching tv on the couch while the bike is sitting right there. i also want to see if i could bike the damn 26.2 miles they had to on the show. so right there i've got a challenge for myself. well by the time i got the tree down put away and moved the bike in it was onto other things like homework and projects for school oh and a little thing called dinner for the kids. at that point i was done so needless to say i didn't even sit on the bike. well thats not true i made sure it was stable when i positioned it in the room but that was all.
the kids had fun riding it. they were all on it last night for a little bit. and jake had some fun this morning. had to get out and get some shopping and things done but once i got home i put on a movie and got on the bike. i love watching tv and movies and vegging out. if anyone remembers when the whole term couch potato came out they sold things like stuffed animals and a board game. well i had both of those i was the couch potato and quite proud of it. i'm also a big fan of eating all kinds of potatos. can't tell you what became of my stuffed potato but whatever. i'm not going to stop watching tv and movies but maybe i can do a little more exercise than just walking while i'm watching. so the bike should help motivate me in the right direction.
i did 10 miles today. and it took me a little less than an hour. i burned something like 550 calories. thast one of the fun things about this bike. it gives you all that info i juts hope its right. anyway i figured 10 was a good starting point since the biggest loser show has team so each person had to do about 13 miles to make the 26.2. my legs were killing me when i got off and i just wanted to lie on the couch after that but i knew if i did i probably would be able to stand after that so i had to walk around a bit. i'm not sure if i'll do i again tomorrow, we'll see how my legs feel. it may have to be an every other day thing.
eating has sucked so far today. i had to go pick up my paycheck before of course having the $ to go shopping with and anytime we're over there jake knows grandpa's house is near. so he harass' me until we stop. and being the good grandpa he is theres always some kind of yummy snacks around. so i helped jake eat some oreos and a more than a few cheese balls while we were hanging at granpas. i've tried to be good with sode, though i love it soo much. i know it's quite bad so i try to save it as a treat and don't buy it all that often. my dad only drinks coke and has lots of it on hand always. so at dads i treat myself. i stuck to a small paper cup today but i believe thats still about 140 calories in a few swallows. it is such a waste of them but it tastes so damn good.

157

yup! damn u j&r's. what sucks is my burger was sooo not good but of course i ate most of the damn thing anyway. why is it when you're really craving something half the time when u finally get it it just doesn't live up to what its supposed to b. my burger was waaaaaaay overdone and had that crispy charred burned taste. of course i could have sent it back but being the paranoid i am and having seen that movie waiting i'm just afraid what they'd do to it. needless to say rob and i will never b going back to that j&r's. of course it sucks cause its so close to the house. still love the one in stony brook and will go there next time. whats funny is his steak was probably one of the best he had. oh well. so i ate some of the free bread and butter they give u. then we got the garlic cheesy bread. yum. which i ate more than i should have since i was pissed about the burger and fries. which as i said i ate. the onion straws were yummy. and then tho we never ever have before in all the times we've been to any of the j&r's we got dessert. browine sundae for me w/choc ice cream almost made up for the sucky burger.
well if i had actually waited a bit before ordering and eating desert i would have felt how full i already was. since i then shoveled in the dessert i so regretted it later. i was so disgustingly full and man was my stomach killing me. i swear i was more stuffed last night than on thanksgiving when you're supposed to stuff yourself. after we got home it wasn't long before the kids bedtime so once i got the little ones to sleep i was oput myself sick as could be. it's almnost 10 am and i'm still not even hungry. normally i'm starving and must have breakfast. don't want anything to do with food so far today! lesson learned. i know i ate more cause i was not happy with what i really wanted. nothing like emotional eating right there!
i'm also really damn tired this morning. gee could all that crappy fatty food from last night have something to do with it? i'm up to 30 squats while brushing my teeth and i stuck with that this morn. and i did 2 sets of 50 crunches. no bad i guess. but for me not really good. esp. when i've got some ground to make up. think i really should get up off my ass and get in my 8 mins before roxanne get here at least. she's not even two but this kid never naps when i have her so i know i'm not getting in much today. maybe i'll try and watch the new biggest loser show dvr'd from last night and at least walk while i watch or something if i can.

jeans

155 still. :) weighed myself before i finally got in the shower at like 4:30 this afternoon. i figure it was best that way anyway since i babysat colin and roxanne today and got spit up on a bit. why get cleaned up if i'm going to be a mess playing on the floor all day anyway? so out of the shower i was dreading putting on my jeans to go out to dinner with the hubby. these are the ones i tried to wear a few days b4 new years at my high school girls gathering of us girls at marisa house. they are an 8 which is high for me since i've lost my weight. yes i'm sure there are plenty of you cursing me out now for bitching about a size 8 jeans. sorry but when you've gone from being 16-18's for so long down to 4-6's, eights being tight sucks! no way was i going to go out and buy 10's again. or try to dig some out of the attic if i even saved any. so these were so tight on my thighs i could not get them up. after i finish this i'm going to try on the pair i actually wore that day and see if they fit better now too. so these are on and up. a little snug on the thigh but i do not feel like i'm going to bust a seam like i did on the pants i wore to work last night. too bad i can't wear jeans to work. at last i feel a difference in my clothes. but it just goes to show that size is relative. the pants i wore last night were an 8 too. i wish there was a real size chart one could go by. it all depends on the damn designer. and what size they feel like putting on the label. so yeah i try not to get too crazy about size numbers. which is how i wound up at 18. but still its screwed up that some things i can buy extra small and others i'm a medium. at least with tops. i have to say i have not bought myself pants in some time. i was given lots of clothes from lots of people once i started losing weight. and i still get them. it has been such a great help to not have to buy all new. and really who could? i definitely don't make that kind of money! so anyway jeans fit today woo hoo! now after i go out to my yummy dinner tonight will they fit tomoro? hope so

155

I weighed this last night after i got home from work and was hoping to maybe have dropped another pound by morning but guess not. was still the same. glad i went to bed with my stomach growling. which really isn't all that easy when your husbands sitting there next to you eating a bag of sun chips. thanks sweetie. i was temted to be mean and say so when are you going to start going back to the gym but i didn't. he'll do it when he's ready.
He joined over the summer. actually near the end of summer. it was $100 for the year which i did not think was a bad deal at all. he tried to get me to join too but one, we didn't have the cash before the promotion was over and two, i'm really not a gym person. no matter what i feel like i'm being watched and forget about trying to figure out how to use all those different machines. technology is really not my friend. at least most times. sure if we went together he could teach me and all that but really its just not my thing. plus when would we even have the time. he works days and afterschool three times a week. i babysit a lot of days now and work some evenings and also the weekends. he went a lot at first but once the holidays came that was it. this is another reason why i don't like gyms you go get into it great and then something comes up and your done and don't go back. if i'm working out at home i will always be at home no matter what. whatever may happen i will still be at home and know how i can fit in some exercise.
i really think it's funny that i've been doing a lot in the bathroom. not your typical workout room. but with a 3 year old momma's boy as my husband calls him if i don't lock him out i'm getting sat on and all that if i try to lie on the floor for crunches. the other day when i was doing my 8 min tae bo i nailed him in the head with my foot doing one of the kicks. i felt bad for a split second because i had told him and em to clear out for 10 minutes and i'd be done. they didn't listen and he got kicked in the head. hes fine don't worry.
so 155 is wonderful. its great to see but i'm soooo not feeling it. last night at work i was afraid to more for fear of splitting my pants. they felt so tight but i don't have much else to wear thats not going to feel tight. what really sucks it that these were my biggest go to comfy pants for work when i felt fat and martha was visiting or whatever. now they barely fit and it really sucks! so i'll have that feeling from last night in my head to keep my going. although i did a bad thing this morning. i made em and jake 2 slices of toast each. was goinbg to have a bowl of cereal but that never happened. i wound up eating what they didn't finish. we've been going through bread like crazy and i hate wasting it so i had emilys crusts and probably more that a slice from what was left of jakes. now if i had had my own it would have just been on slice instead i wound up eating more. oh well. lesson learned. again cause i have done this before. i don't want to waste the food but then end up sabotaging myself. not again. this snow and ice has to disappear so i can get to the store and stock up on bread and all the other stuff we need.
i may sabotage myself yet again later but i'm planning for that. been craving a big fat burger and fries so the hubby and i are going out to use one of our food gift cards when he gets home later. i also don't have to try to figure out what i'm making for dinner for all of us with not a lot of stuff in this house since i haven't been shopping in awhile. so j&r's later at like 7 when he's home from after school. i'm going to be really good the rest of the day and drink tons of water so i can enjoy later and not worry about it too much.

156

ok i think thats official 3lbs in 3 days ok i'm psyched. if only my body was too. its exhauseted and wnats to climb back in bed for the rest of the day. everyone is off at school but me and jake and colin is here today too. he's napping now so hopefully i can get this in completely. weighed myself at about 7 this morn and again at 10. 156 all 6 times. whats funny is i was hoping for 155 again but i ate like crap and knew it so oh well. but then of course i look at how its only been like three freaking days and its got to b too good to be true. so i'm surre i'll b tripping up soon as i really don't want to move much at all today. honestly maybe i should have napped with colin but just wasn't tired yet. now i've been sitting here for a bit catching up on email and facebook i could use a good nap.
i'm usually good energy-wise when i wake up. i am def. a morning person. i can get a lot done by 9am. so when i get to sleep in i'm not always happy because i'm behind on what i wanted to do that day. yeah i'm a little nuts. aren't we all? thats good for me with exercise because at least if i get in a bunch early on maybe i can get in a catnap later on if i'm lucky and don't feel too bad about it. so at a quarter to 11 i've done 30 squats, 100 cruches, 50 jumping jacks, and 8 min tae bo. not too bad i guess. so i can see how i can do sooo much more in a day fitting it in wherever but thinking today i just don't want too. my body is just done. drinking a lot more water lately of course i have to pee a lot more. so when i'm locked in peace and quiet and will do some more squats or crunches or even jumping jakcs before i unlock the door. i think its a good sneaky way to get in a little extra. sure it's not much but its certainly more than i was doing before and every little bit helps.
i've got to start working on eating better. yesterday was pretty crappy. had my toast and choc milk. b4 work had a small bowl of cheerios and more choc milk. at work had an egg bagel and water. and then a piece of chocolate that wasn't even good but i ate it cause i was stressing about driving home in the snow. am glad i had the bagel though because it kept me from eating more chocolate at work. when i got home as i was getting things ready for school and lunches today i ad 2 pieces of cheese and 4 of salami. so of course dinner i wasn't that hungry so i finished off this small bag of fritos with a can of root beer. Healthy!!! game started at 8:30 walked 20 min b4 putting em to bed. walked another 40 before getting all the boys to bed. was very hungry at that point convinced myself not to make popcorn to watch the rest of the game with. no instead i read and finished off the box of russel stover french choc mints my hubby got me for xmas. i love those things but i didn't need to eat like 8 of em in one sitting. yeah so my diet needs lots of work.
i have a friend who sees a nutritionist and they helped her lose a bunch of weight. i don't think i ever could go to one. when i dropped my weight i was very good about trying new things fruits and veggies and all other things that are supposed to be better for you. too bad i just don't like the taste of any of it. or most of it. i have tried eating more veggies ( the ones i like at least) but fruit, forget it. there are very few i like. and don't even get me started on salad. now i've eaten very few salads i have had them, pretty much when i had no choice and they came with the meal. my salad would usually have lots of croutons bacon and cheese with a little lettuce and maybe some tomato thrown in. if it tastes like nothing why the hell am i going to waste my time eating it? so i'd rather not fight with anyone over what i'm supposed to be eating and do it my own way. and be happy eating what i like.
i also dont' want to pay anyone to get me where i want to be. i got me where i didn't want to be. first 205lbs, now 156. i got me into this mess i'm going to do what i need to to get me out. and i'm not wasting my money and diets or programs that i'd have a tough time following. i have the library and all its resources to find all kinds of books magazines and workout dvds to get me where i want to be with the ones i like. i did give in and buy a tae bo set mainly cause it had the workout bands. of course i rarely use them but they are there for when i build myself back up to working out hard almost every day. i do want the biggest loser game but its a game. for fun not just weight loss right so i really don't count that.
i was up early this morning to make sure the boys were up and leaving on time and wound up watching an infomercial for this air step thing. it actually looked pretty good. like something i might use. when i was in high school we did the step aerobics and i even got one, still around here somewhere, though i never used it religiously where it made a difference on my body. anyway it seems like something i'd like. you have to do what you like. if your not liking what your doing(sure its exercise and u won't like it that much at first anyway) you won't do it again and again like you need to with exercise. i actually plan on looking up this air stepper thing online, as they gave the price 14.95 but not the shipping info so i'm sure they'll nail you for that anyway. but just curiousity i don't plan on buying it.

155,156

ok so maybe i can be a little happier about yesterdays weight when it came up again today. theres no way this will continue but its always nice to see a big difference when starting out again. 7:30 am this morning was 155. again before i got on here at about 10am was the 156. three times of course to make sure. i should do a total count of how many times i hit that scale in a day. i'm sure its over ten since each time i weigh myself i do it three times to be sure of it. whatever. 156 today i'm very very happy with that. esp. after having wendys for dinner last night. three years ago i'd still have wendys and eat a jr bacon burger and value fries and that was it. now if i get back there i'll be good. last night i had the above plus a crispy chicken sandwich and a sour cream and chive potato. yum yum! i juts have to keep reminding myself that i don't have to eat everything i like from whatever food place i go to because i will be there again and i can have something different next time.
got in my tae bo 8 mins twice yesterday. my sides are very achy today. getting a little better as i've been up longer. but boy when i first woke up was i hurting. yeah its a good hurt but its still freakin painful right!
have to head out to work today. joy of joys. not thrilled cause my road and driveway still look quite icy and snowy. at least its only 4 hours at time and a half today. tomorrow is back to the real world of school and all. i will also be babysitting my neighbors son 8-4 while she is at work. then its off to work again tomorrow night. I can only hope colin sleeps well for a bit so i can get in some good exercise like i want. a longer tae bo dvd would be nice. most of them run about 40 minutes or so. if not i'll just have to fit in as many 8 minutes as i can.
the kids are still having a ball with the wii fit. they love the obstacle course one the most i think. i didn't play much yesterday and have done a few quick games this morning. the newest game i feel does something for me is the biking. the yoga and strength are of course the best but who wants to do those with the whole family watching. maybe i'll get more in tomorrow when its just me and jake. and colin of course. cause who cares what the three year old thinks right? :)
when i was doing a tae bo or richard simmons workout everyday the rule was if you were in the room you had to do it too so there was no watching going on. i will have to get back to that. the wii game is something different because it is a game. i really want the biggest loser game one. i think it might be more fun for everyone to play with and i won't feel as silly. they have challenges suposedly like in the show so i think kicking the kids butts in those whle we play would make it worth while no matter how silly you look. vegged and read the sunday paper and kmart actually has it for $20. once i get out today and see how the roads are i'll see when i can get to the store to get it for myself. got some $ for xmas so that will be my present.
hoping to get in another 8 min tae bo after work. plan watching the bengals game later. though if they beat my husbands precious jets i will feel bad a bit because he's a bigger fan than i am. i figure i can walk/run most the time while i watch since there won't be any movie time today :)
155 for real tomorrow? it feels so quick to have dropped 4 lbs for real. i have also measured my waist since they say now thats a bigger indicator. of what exactly i'm not sure. but watching any type of numbers go down in reference to body size always makes you feel good right. :) don't plan on posting that number just yet tho, knowing how low it had gotten i'm not thrilled where it is now. i only wish i had measured it way back in the begining when i was 205lbs. that would have been the shocker number.

156!? 158

ok so my sweet husband turned off the wireless last night cause he was having trouble with it so when i tried to get on this morning it of course would not work. if i had actually gone to work today who knows when i'd be here for you. :) anyway got up weighed myself. and lovely 156 came up. four times. i did it four times and it was 156 each time. now that was nice and i could be happy about it but i knew it wasn't quite right or something. and like i've said your weight fluctuates throughout the day so you never know. i wasn't banking on that 156 but i was happy about it. about as long as it took me to take my shower and get dressed for work i was happy. of course when i got dressed and my clothes were tight and made me look like crap well then i wasn't too hapy about that 156 anymorw because its still a long way to go no matter what.
so i'm dressed and feeling fat and look outside and its snowing. yet again on a sat. i love the snow as long as i do not have to go anywhere. so i watched the weather, listened to the radio and called my dad and decidied that it just wasn't worth it to drive to work. they suck there anyway and could care less if something happened to me on my way. thought about having rob drive me but then we'd have to wake the kids and all get out on the road in it and thats plain stupid. so here i am at home. :) and it can keep snowing all it wants i'm not going anywhere today.
recap last night i had a bowl of cheerios for dinner. yeah real healthy i know but you'll see i'm not a fruit and veggie person and i've done ok. i could eat breakfast for everymeal. i love lots of cereals, bacon, eggs, and of course the good white carbs like french toast, pancakes, bagels, even plain old toast which is what i have a lot of mornings. this morning got in my squats and crunches and then it was all about the snow for a bit. woke my husband getting undressed for work and had our own special kind of exercise because miracle of miracles both little ones were still sleeping!(big boys are at their dads) at 8:30 am in this house thats a feat! we do have to get back to that school sked soon tho.
after i woke emily and made us breakfast cause i was starving by then. healthy white toast with butter and some choc milk. i did not stop eating this healthy breakfast when i lost 75lbs i won't stop now. i did go from one two slices down to one and em gets more butter than i do too. if i'm making it for her and then jake too some mornings i can't not eat it it smells too good. and of course if i do sometimes i find myself eating their crust in addition to whatever alternative i've eaten and then i'm eating more so how does that make sense.
i let the kids play wii and put a movie on my laptop to watch figuring i'd walk for half and hour while watching and get some exercise in. well i walked/jogged in front of the laptop with the big headphones on for the length of the movie. and hour and a half. go me! sure i had to stop a few times for the kids and the dog. and when my husband came down i felt a little funny and stopped for a bit. but got over it after a few minutes and went back to my movie and exercise and blocked him out like i do the kids. you just have to sometimes. i'm so not an its all about me person but sometimes its gotta be or i'm not happy than of course nobodys happy.
the movie ends and i'm feeling really good. sure my legs are tired but i feel good. maybe a little randy too. to bad my husband went out to get the car inspected. anyway i go weigh myself again because i could not trust the 156 and lo and behold i'm 158 now. no big surprise there of course. sure it would have been nice to still be 156 but really was that actually gonna happen that quickly. don't think so. so 158 today and i guess thats really not to bad since i'm just getting started.
you'll see i am obsessive about weighing myself. i do it quite a lot in a day. as long as i'm writing about it here it'll give me license to do it even more too! :) i'm sure i'll do it again a little later and maybe be back for more today. still have to get in my tea bo at least 8 min today too. plenty of time its only noon. as for last night i weighed myself once more before bed. the dreaded 160 showed up and i of course weighed myself at least twice more to make sure it was right. it was but it was also the end of the day and as i've found your always heaviest then so that one never really counts. at least it doesn't count for me how bout you?

still 159 today

although i do tend to weigh myself quite a few times in a day i have not done so again today. it is sooo true that your weight changes during the day up to 5 lbs different. i swear i've seen it. anyway here i go again twice in a day. what a treat huh? at least i'm on a roll so far right? hahahaha anyway was good did my 2nd 8 minutes of tae bo and some more wii fit plus. though of course the kids eventually kick me off when i'm really trying to get going. i'm sure i'll be a bit sore tomorrow cause its been awhile since i've used some of these muscles but thats part of the process.
was more tired later on despite my second round. so i made popcorn and the family vegged and watched national lampoons vacation. yes it was rated r when it came out and i did let em watch. it would so be pg-13 now. although there may have been too many "fucks" in there. i think u can only say it 5 times for a pg-13 rating. whatever. i have a potty mouth and she's heard it before. when i'm royally pissed like when the dog ate my tray of cookies i was preparing to bring out. or when i hurt myself like when the dog ran into my face and bruised my cheekbone. if it weren't for ice packs i'd have had a black eye and right side of my face for xmas. thanks vader! Incase u didn't know vader is the name of the dog.
so we all had a bunch of popcorn but what i made wasn't quite enough so we too a break for me to make more and i had 4 chewy choc cookies instead of more popcorn. i've yet to have dinner but think what i ate makes a nice substitute right? :) by the way if anyone knows where i can find a continuously popping popcorn machine so i can make a ton for my popcorn loving family and not have to do it twice i would greatly appreciate hearing from you. we had a great one at my dads years and years ago and it of course died from overuse.
it's tougher while everyone is still home on vaca but i'm giving it a go. will not say no to fun yummy goodies as i've already proven. at least i did some exercise today. 2moro and sun are work and hopefully i'll get some in. i figure if i get up at 7 and hopefully everyone is still sleeping i can get in my eight mins at least and then my shower b4 i leave for work. maybe after if i'm not exhausted i'll try again.
work still sucks royally but i'm getting used to it being that way and trying to make the best of it. i helped a friend of my by editing his manuscript while i was away from here and it was great. although the subject matter is not what i'd normally pick up to read it was quite interesting. tho thats probably what took me so long to get through it for him. sorry dan. i hope i helped him somewhat at least. i know he had other people go through it for him too. the title is Divine Intervention: true stories of Gods miracles today volume two. no i never even read #1 before this though i do now own a copy (thanks dan) and well get to it sooner or later i believe. I have never considered myself a spiritual person so some of these stories for me are a stretch. others make me want to learn more. i have always believed in God. exact details about him i couldn't tell you. and i think religion is a bunch of crap. but after reading/editing i do intend to actually read the bible for myself again sooner or later as its something i never have done. although now i think its about time to find a little something like real food, hopefully good food, for dinner.

159

happy new year! and welcome back to me. yes its been awhile but i'm not even going to go there. just going to go. was thinking last night about how fun and exciting new years used to be when i was younger. there was always a party to go or more likely i was the one throwing the party. we were finding confetti in hidden spots in my basement for years after the parties i always had down there. my husband and i decided we'll try and throw one next year for our friends and their kids and we'll all have a ball. i love the craziness when theres a lot of people over having a good time.
so 159. well thats my weight right now and it really sucks! i few years ago i lost 75lbs but i of course did not stay there. my low was 129 and go that felt good. but my body didn't like being there and i stayed around 135-140 for awhile and was happy. i have gotten quite lazy again and hardly work out anymorw. well thats all changing starting today because it's grossing me out. and i'd also like to fit in some of the jeans i have without having to go buy a size up! that would royally suck.
i'm off to a good start i think. no one was up too early today but i still got myself going when we did get up. did my 20 squats while brushing my teeth and 50 crunches before unlocking the bathroom door so noone could bother me. i did my 8 minute tae bo with my new best friend again billy blanks. it felt really good. until you've done it you really can't understand. when u lose weight and get into shape exercising really feels good when u do it. i feel powerful and like i can do anything. and i usually wind up getting a lot more done on the days i exercise because i'm just not as tired. it takes energy to get off your ass and do it. but when u do theres such a surge of new energy for u. its just really good. so needless to say my goal is to get back to that 129 again. but if i could hit 125 it'd be great of course i'll take 135. no matter i need to be down there by may. andrews junior rotc program has this formal dinner dance thing the kids loved going to last year and i know we'll be doing it again. i want to fit in the dress i wore for this years at the least. at best i'd like to fit into this black dress i wore once when i was my lowest as its a size two but looks so good! if i make it i promise i'll figure out how to add a photo to this for you :) i also want to be comfortable in my clothes on the long road trip family vacation my husband and i are planning for july. more on that to come.
my dad bought the wii fit plus video game. we all got the wii fit when it cane out like 2 years ago. this is a bit of a hyped up version with some good extra stuff. the kids all love it and dad told us to take it home weds when we were there. so yesterday i had a little jump start. we took turns playing it most of the day. certain things on it use a lot of energy and are really good. others not so much. so needless to say after the hard ones i wanted a break and it was fun playing with the kids on it. this morning after my tae bo then breakfast for everyone it's back on again. i've gone back to some of the older games i had played on it before and the yoga and strenghth training are pretty damn hard for me right now.
i will probably do the 8 minute tae bo at least once more today and then of course the wii fit stuff. i think it's a good start for now. i want to ease myself back into the good routine i had going when i dropped all my weight. because it was pretty advanced there after awhile. i know if i tried doing the tae bo cardio (45min i was doing everyday) today i'd b flat on my back and done for the day and thats no good. i also have to get much better with what i'm eating again. or at least how much i'm eating. there will b no taking away the foods i love. i'm a carbs girl and if i can't have my burger and fries every once in awhile we will have a major problem! so 30 lbs by may. i'm pretty sure i can and now you all can come along for the ride. :)