its damn hard to stick to exercising and eating better when martha comes for a visit. yes martha is my monthly friend if you haven't read me before and didn't know thats my loing name for her. not really just something one of my girlfriends made up in high school and it has stuck with me evr since. love ya stacey! anyway so i've been trying and i didn't even weigh myself for a day or two because i knew i wasn't going to like it. this morning i was 155, 155, 156, 157, 157, 157. so 157 wins and it sucks. so hopefully i can blame it on some bloating and will drop an extra 2lbs when she leaves the building. hahaha.
of course its probably because i can't keep myself away from the chocolate. when i hit the grocery store last week one of my treats i got was those striped dainty cookies. have loved them since i was a kid and they were shaped more like flowers than the plain old circles they are now. well i picked them up and put them down like three times before i said screw it and bought them. it had been quite awhile since i'd had them. they are still as good as i remember i just wish they had lasted longer. there were four rows in the package and it took me four days to eat them all. i guess it was good i kept myself to a row a day but it was still 8 cookies a day. which i guess isn't so bad. of course i had to also have big old glasses of extra chocolately chocolate milk. and sometimes throw in some ice cream efore i finshed it off. though thats not really true i let jake finish it after i had mine that day. i really wanted to drive thru mcdonalds and have a hot fudge sundae after work last night but i talked myself out of it as my after work drive thrus got me 205 in the first place.
when marthas here chocolate is my best friend. have to have it. and i mean HAVE TO. you really don't want to be around me if i don't have it. so 157 again at least for today. hopefully it won't last long. i put on a skirt for work last night that i thought should have fit. it was snug but closed and not fun to sit down in. i almost changed out of it but decided if i wear it and torture myself in it i'll remember more why i NEED to lose weight. whats funny is i can look at myself in the mirror before i get dressed and think that i really don't look too bad. its when i put my clothes on and they don't fit that makes me look really bad and hate where my body is at.
so i was trying for much better eating and had only cereal for breakfast the past two days. well i couldn't even go two days. when i took emilys toast plate to toss the crusts she pulled off i ate one and then andother and of course wound up eating all the pieces of crust she did not want. so i need to have my toast in the morning cause iots really what i want. guess i'll save the cereal for a snack or something later in the day if i need one.
after five days of sort of working out i finally did my tae bo cardio with the bands today. i did it without the bands on sunday. my body just wasn't having the extra push that day. i rode the bike for a few days in a row 5 miles one day 10 another and 8 another. so i'm trying to use it more but since i hate the rolls of my stomach so much i feel i would be better off doing something else that aims in that area. just have to find something i like besides 1000 crunches. :)
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