when i got up yesterday, or i should say when jacob got me up yesterday i was in a pretty foul mood. had been for the few days before that too. not too sure why. probably a combination of things. i was really frustrated with the whole weight loss thing. feeling like its not working and what the hells the point. of course all i have to do is try to get dressed for work and i know. as it was yesterday i tried on probably four different outfits before giving up and just wearing whatever i had on last and didn't give a shit what i looked like.
i really wanted to be done, to not care. i still haven't seen my husband get back to the gym why am i pushing myself? i'll just buy new clothes that fit screw it! but i only think this way for so long. i'd rather spend that money on cheesy souvenirs and what not on our vacation. i really want to be happy looking at myself in pictures like i was. i don't want to hide from them or refuse to look at them cause i don't like the way i look. i want to feel good about me.
i was still 157, 156 every other day and i was quite pissed. today i got a 155 but again i really need a new scale cause it also gave me a 169 but i must have done something majorly wrong for that to come up. and again with all the err messages soon i will get a new one. so i figured i really needed to do my tae bo again but i just didn't want to. i decided if i do the marathon 26.2 miles on the bike than its ok if i didn't do the tae bo. i could also watch all my shows while i was on it and get off every few miles as needed. well i did 27 miles. i did stop for more than a minute or two every five miles but i also didn't just stop at 5 miles i made sure i hit 300 calories burned too. so once i hit 26.2 i was going to stop but figured i could get to that 27 and hit 400 calories on that one and i did. total 1600 calories burned. i'm sure i ate more than that today as we got pizza for dinner and i did have that second slice. i'm just hoping for 155 tomoro and it'll be all good. but i'm in a much better mind set today and paced myself with dinner and didn't wolf down two slices but had one and waited awhile before i went back for the other. of course the leftover popcorn i ate as a snack wasn't too good but that was my only snack of the day. lean cuisine 290 fish meal at lunch and toast slice and sm choc milk for breakfast. i am pretty happy with myself today. tomorrow we'll do billy again
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