3:30am

it's not always jakes fault i'm up in the middle of the night but when he does wake me i of course have to pee. last night freezing my ass off my stomach was growling something fierce. i was like really its three freaking thirty in the morning. of course i've been going to bed with my stomach growling at me lots lately as i know its good and i don't need to eat at 9pm all the time, or any of the time for that matter. and it's hard when again my hubby brings up a bowl of ice cream and sits next to me on the bed and eats it. thank god i was pretty tired and halfway to dreamland at that point or i just may have said screw it and gotten up and got my ice cream.
jake hasn't been feeling good so i had to go sit with him for a few minutes until he went back to sleep. it really didn't take him long and i was off to pee. and growl growl growl my stomach was not stopping. and i was like is it really worth it to be this hungry and not listen. well at 3:30am hell yes it is. and if i could say no at 9pm i could make it till it was actually time to get up for the day. of course it is. 5lbs is no joke and my dress pants i loved wearing to work are getting to be comfortable to wear again. i am no longer afraid of busting out of them while i am here. so i can actually feel results and thats got to keep me going. its definitely going to be worth it when i fit in all the pairs of shorts i bought the summer i was the skinniest three years ago. they will all be coming with me on this nice long road trip we are planning and i'll be one hot momma trekking across the usa with the fam. :) and i can show myself off along with all the fun things we did when i show everyone the pics when we get back. so yeah i have a clear goal in mind. and yeah i damn well better get there.
saturdays are the hardest days. breakfast is always easy and i like to keep it that way. my hubby even made my toast for me this morning. thanks babe. it's my day to get take out and i try to keep it cheap. went through wendys stuck to a burger and small fries. should have got the value ones i know but i didn't. and then i was getting a chili and cheese for the guard at work today so i got one for me too. it just sounded too good and this freezing cold winter day. so i had half the chili of course the top half with all the cheese and left the rest for my dad. the jr bacon cheeseburger. and i ate the bacon instead of taking it off like i usually do. and the yummy fries. and then i had the coupons. back in oct i bought the book of free jr frosties. used them once and lo and behold the expire tomorrow. so i got five. no i did not eat them all. i had a vanilla one with lunch. the four chocolates are in the freezer here at work to bring home for dessert. the big boys will be with their dad by the time i get home so four is perfect. i also requested dinner be chinese when i get ther. mainly so i do not have to think about it when i get home. and also it has been awhile. and in know chinese is a magic word for my husband. all i have to say is i want it and he's fine with getting it for dinner, lunch whenever. it is his favorite and he can eat it every day practically. so dinner may be heavy too. so i won't weigh myself again till monday because 153 today i'm sure will not be there tomorrow. and i'll give myself sunday to bounce back and catch up.
i also do not have time to exercise saturdays too often. or i don't really want to cause its been a long day so most times i give myself a pass. i'm tired and i want to relax. though with the bike and can get on while we watch a movie or something but it is quite distracting. if i want to keep up my good work i will have to do better on saturdays. and thats also where warmer weather will be helpful. but today that seems quite a ways off. and snuggling up eating and watching movies when i get home sounds just soo much better.