rain on wednesday

I'm actually off this wednesday night as Rob is going to a Yankee game. I'll have the kids to myself for the evening which doesn't happen all that often. We'll make breakfast for dinner or some other yummy munchies. Usually watch a movie and picnic on the living room floor. Or just hang out and maybe play some games. I really like having this time with them.
Unfortunately Emily has a baseball game. I won't get to veg out in my pj's all day cause theres no work for me. I won't get to relax with the kiddies cause we've got to get to baseball. She loves playing, but I feel bad for the other kids who will either get left home to watch each other or dragged along to the game. I am no soccer mom. I enjoy watching Emily play. I don't enjoy sitting outside freezing, chasing Jacob around and usually missing whats going on in her game because i have three other children to think about. My husband is all about the sports and since he played everything every season and was the baby i don't think he gets my point of view. He of course has become the main coach on her team. Didn't sign up for it, just happened. If I could go with just her and watch just her and think about just her maybe i'd actually enjoy it. I might even be able to keep track of the score of the game. If I go without the other kids on wednesday I know i'll be worrying about what they are doing at home. If I bring them I'll just be trying to keep Jacob busy and out of everyone elses hair and counting the minutes till the game is over. So is it really that bad of me to be hoping for rain?
Of course if theres enough of it there won't be any game. No dilemma of who's going. Though then there may not be any Yankee game either and my husband could be home too. It does take a hell of a lot more rain to wash out a yankee game though. I'm tempted to ask Emily what she'd rather do, veg at home or go to the game. That of course would be really wrong and I wouldn't do it. She signed up to play she should show up to play its only fair to the rest of the team. But I am tempted.
I am not a joiner, never have been. I'll watch sports. I won't usually play them. In school, gym class was pass or fail. I knew I could be unprepared for gym twice each quarter and still pass. Of course I was unprepared eight times every year and still passed. I sometimes even failed a quarter being unprepared too many times but passed for the year. By the time I was a senior the teachers got smart and started making you write a little report if you were unprepared for class. By then I was on to cutting anyway so i'd miss as many that way and still pass.
My big boys never got signed up for anything. I never had the money. Also never had the time. Or at least I felt I had enough going on with living at home, having my mom babysit so i could work, having them in two different schools, and their father having them every weekend. It was a crazy enough schedule why would I add anything else to it on purpose. I do feel bad for them now as they see Emily and eventually Jacob join things. I think now that they are older and can do it free at school they don't even have the desire because they never did it before. Which also makes it worse to make them come along. Most games I'm working and Rob takes them all. He doesn't feel the mommy guilt I do.
So rain on wednesday.... I really am hoping so. I can spend time with all my kids and not feel like one is getting favored for a little while. Maybe thats where I have to adjust my thinking to that of a family with each of us having our own thing that the others may have to sacrifice some time for. And thats what makes us a family.