reasoning part 2

First I have to say to violet if your still with me i don't know why but i can't get the font to go bigger anymore. i have tried every post that has been small again. guess i will have to ask my husband for help to se if he can show me what i'm missing
I didn't go to college for very long, i had the boys. for my 20th bday when they were eight months old i got a check from my brother for $500. God knows why exactly. I think he may have been trying to help me in some way. I don't think my sisters ever received that kind of bday gift. I tried to put it to good use. I had seen ads in magazines about writing for children and young adults. they'd send you a free test and if you did well on it you could enroll in their writing school. I of course passed the test as now older and wiser me thinks probably everyone who ever takes the test does. with help from my brother i enrolled in their classes. There was no internet class yet it was by mail. It was perfect i could do the assignments when i had the time and had to get them back within a reasonable amount f time. if i needed more time i could extend it. There were a total of ten assignments. though ten had two parts a and b. I completed every assignment except 10b. I can say this was when andrew was diagnosed with pdd and needed to start going to a special school so that of course took precidence over me. But i just let it go. i never made myself get back and finish. part a was and outline for a novel and three possible publishers u thought would have interest in it and why. part b was the first five chapters or so of said novel. i think maybe i did one. i never pushed. i never finished. i gave up. i still regret it. last year i sent away again for the test just to see if they would accept me again but guess what, never finished the application.
When i was working on these assignments i was also working here at the library. there was a woman i used to work with who would always ask me about them. she'd read them and gave me reassurance that it was all good. after awhile she'd start asking how the book/story i was working on was coming since i was doing a lot of writing here. I had to keep up, she always asked. she passed away before i got married eight years ago. i still feel like i let her down tho not keeping things up.
when i moved positions at work from a page to the circulation desk i did it thinking i'd work nights and go to school during the day now that my boys were both in school full time. School for writing at that time. now i could go further and go for the masters in library science but it takes money i do not have. oh and if u have kept up with me i didn't win that scholarship thing but theres a new one i'll at least go for to keep me trying. I got engaged, got married and had a baby a year later. I was kept busy with life and my days were filled with other things.
Like with the book i'm reading now, sometimes things just hit me right and make me realise how much i really want to write. have something tangible you can hold in your hand that came from me. maybe it moved you, maybe you disagreed with it, hated it, whatever as long as it had an effect on you. those are the stories that keep my passion for writing going. maybe i need to find more or just go over the ones i know more often to keep me going. we read a story in 8th grade english class. mr bloom, what a waste of space. i remember three things from his class, memorizing prepositions, hanging out with frank barbs and gene in class, and The Lady or The Tiger. it is a short story i have never forgotten. absolutely great even if it did piss me off at the time i read it. i won't ruin it for you if you've never read it. get a copy somewhere. if you really want to know email me about it.
so yes i made it back. found there was waaay too much i wanted to say to continue this. i have been waiting to get back here since i had to return from break last time around. looking forward to it completely. and that made me feel good. but was part of that because it wasn't work-like and i didn't even bother to go over what i wrote and edit and touch up. i honestly do not have the time to do it here unless i make really short posts. making the time at home is another matter of course. always so much going on and as andrew the teenager has taught us lately even more than we really want to know but absolutely need to and deal with. but they can't be my excuses anymore. somewhere somehow i need to find the time. i know i can like i did with the exercise but that made me feel better all around and even gave me more energy. maybe this will do the same. at the least it may make me a bit happier doing what i've always wanted to.