work is work is work

And I think thats why I have been hating it so much for so long now. I really used to love my job. Sure it sucks leaving the kids but it's nice to not be mom for a few hours and be myself. I used to be with some really great people. There has been a major changing of the guard over the past few years and I think I've finally hit bottom here. I hated coming to work before we went on our nice long Disney vaaction. I figured ok after vaca i'll come back and it'll all be good. No go. So I worked extra hours over the summer as I usually do and really hated it. Not good. Now i've gotten another babysitting gig and Rob will be doing afterschool three days a week and my head was filled with womnderful fantasies of quitting. The only other time I ever thought about quitting was when Emily was born. Of course we needed the money so that was that.
Overall I was pretty happy here.But as I've come to realize over the past few weeks of quitting daydreams, and money realities is I just really don't like most of the people I work with anymore. Patrons come and go. You get your good ones, you get your crazies and nasties and you deal with it. Now when I'm working my butt off, helping my co-workers who don't know what they're doing, fixing other peoples screw ups and dealing with ALL the nasties and crazies because they refuse or don't know how. I'm just working and working and working. And resenting all the dumb people who have been hired to replace the good people who have gotten away. Says a lot for the new director all the shit thats gone down since he's taken over.
I still would love nothing more than to quick and still deal with all this. Of course that ain't gonna happen. I will cut my hours as much as possible and know my supervisor, not the acting one, will be behind me 100%. Looking forward to when she gets back from her surgery.
It used to be a lot of fun behind my desk. We had great conversations and lots of good times. When I come in and join in the bitchfest of the day at 9am on a saturday you know the day is pretty much shot straight to hell. Of course we're always bitching about this place. Guess it's time to change or somehow i must find a way out of here. Believe me i've been looking but it ain't all that easy. Nothing is guarenteed and in the crazy times losing a job like this one isn't very smart.
So work is work and not necessarily a fun filled place. But i'm still me and am starting to do something useful with my time on my boring breaks now by blogging. At least it's gotten me started again. But you know what they say about best laid plans. It does feel good getting back into this. Something to look forward to going to work for......? Getting in my blogging time. hey it's been two whole days in a row so far I'm on a roll.
I miss my friends I used to work with. I have always hated change and do not do well adjusting to it. It's probably been about seven months of hating my job to get to this point.. see what I mean? I work for the money. I work for keeping me sane by getting out of the house sometimes when i really need it. I work to keep connected to the world outside my house. I work to have easy access to movies and books nothing beats first on the reserve lists. I work to have librarians i know help me find anything to help keep me writing. I work cause i like finding it myself w/o asking for their help but knowing if i get stuck i have friends to ask.