change it up

i was so psyched the first of this month. very happy where i had gotten and what i had done in a month. then i don't know what the hell happened but just felt done. was sick of exercising was sick of watching everything i ate. was sick of it. didn't want to move much less exercise yesterday so i did not. napped on the couch while colin slept nicely. what a treat. maybe it was having him all day for four days that was wearing me out anymore. if thats the case maybe it's best there is non #5. or most likely will not be. been thinking about that more and more almost like i'm running out of time for if its going to happen.
anyway i blew off yesterday. ate ok calorie-wise anyway, at least until dinner. i wanted food but i didn't want to make it. i didn't care what it was i just didn't want to be bothered. well that didn't work wound up making a snack of mozzerella sticks. which i ate 4-5 i think. and then felt full. the kids wolfed down the rest and bugged for more. since i had the oil going i did some onion rings, french fries and dinosaur chickens so at least they had some meat. oh and since i was planning on quesadillas for dinner made a few of those too. i of course whild making it all had a little of everything else, tho no more mozz sticks. and then to top it off made a yummy milkshake for dessert. i was royally stuffed after that. the sad part is i know if i had stayed away from the kitchen or made stuff i didn't have to eat( i cannot make fries and not eat them!) i'd have been fine on the 4-5 mozz sticks. instead i stuffed myself i weighed 154 this morning. which royally pissed me off. so i have to do something. esp now i'm behind 2lbs. so its the kids fault not mine. hahaha
then we get to today. i started out ok, did my crunches and then someextras before emily even left for school. and of course my squats and this other ab exercise i forgot all about for way back. got on the bike and did 3 and a half miles before roxanne got here. she left about 2 hours later and it was getting close to lunch time. again i just wanted food i didn't have to make, but not a damn lean cuisine. i have my favorites now and then theres those i don't like as much or don't think i'm going to like as much, those are the ones still left in the freezer. my fav is the chicken with mashed pots and some kind of cornbread stuffing. had it twice would have bought it again in pathmark the other night but of course they did not have it. was tempted to get my old favorite hungry man dinner of beer battered chicken and cheese fries. mmmm soo good, think i checked once and its like 8-900 calories. way off from little lean cuisine which maxes at like 350. at least i think thats the highest one i ate. loke it when its in the 200's tho.
anyway getting pissed at myself and thinking about taking a ride to while castle. being i've been feeling the crave and was figuring on hitting them up 2moro at lunch time, but now with snow coming i doubt it'l happen. if i do go to work i won't be driving myself which means i'm at the mercy f my coworkers for getting me something if they go out or bringing something along. i could call my dad to go to lunch but he wouldn't go there. thought my hubby was hitting the gym after work today and was going to bribe him to stop for me as its not too far from the gym, but he decided to go this morning instead. guess i'll be craving a little longer.
as my stomach keeps growling at me i throw in a potato with the bread i'm making for superbowl and figure i'll be fine with that even if i throw cheese on it. i know its going to take awhile to cook so i ate a bowl of puffed wheat and a little glass of choc milk and i'm real good now. not even craving that potato tha i can smell cooking. in the meantime i tried a new dvd i got from work. zumba fitness beginners. very short, not even 20 mins. and pretty simple. actually didn't feel like it did much for me. also the guy talks in spanish and then the girl tell you what to do after they've done the step like twice already. so pretty annoying. doubt i'll be doing it again. so then i tried the 10min solution dvd i got also. only did the abs one for 10 min and it was good. knowing i need to work my abs and stomcah the most i think i'll get that in every day i can. i can get into 2 size six pairs of shorts, they just look like shit. actually from my feet to the top of the shorts they look pretty good and are just a little tight and not too comfy to sit in. its the rolls of flappy skin that are above the shorts that make me look like shit. so thats whats got to get worked on and gotten rid of. these were my go to shorts. the ones i wore when nothing else fit in the summer. so i still cannot fit into them comfortably i still need to get my ass moving.
thinking i just have to do something else for awhile. at least a different dvd. maybe go back to some of the sweatin to the oldies and stuff. maybe i can get one in before everyone else gets home.