Six Months

    That's how long it's taken me to be ok with where I am in life right now. I went into my old library the other day and didn't feel the least bit sad or upset walking in or walking out. It was great to see everyone and though I couldn't chat too long, as I had the little ones with me, I did make a few stops and do a bit of catching up. It felt really good. And as they complained about the same crap going on I just felt indifferent and sorry that they were still stuck dealing with it. I feel something better is coming along, or already has.
   I've realized I'm finally doing what I always wanted to be doing, always planned, or thought I'd be doing. In a way. Sort of. My life plan was; get married, have kids, stay home with them and write. So, it went this way instead; have kids, get a job, get married, have more kids, babysit other peoples' kids, lose job, stay home and write while watching my kids and the extras. In a round about way I'm doing what I wanted. And I think I've finally made peace with that. Sure I miss the money, sometimes a lot more than others. Sure I miss adult conversations, sometimes a lot more than others. But I've decided to be happy and enjoy being where I am. And to finally try giving my writing my all.
    Last year I helped a friend by editing/proofreading his book. I enjoyed it immensely. He self published it and seeing my name there in print only as a thank you in his book was a boost and kick in the behind. If he could why couldn't I? Another friend recently was looking for an editor for her novel she's not quite finished yet. Even though I hold no degree I told her I'd love to go over it and read it if she wanted. She did and I'm having a great time going through it. I learned she'd never wanted to write, her story came from a dream and she just had to write it out. She's only been at it less than a year. Again another kick in the ass to me. Look what she's done! So I'm editing and writing and blogging. Let's not forget babysitting, taking care of house and home and baking too when I get an order. I'm also preparing for library clerk tests, because a real job I can count on isn't a bad thing to have if I can get one that works for me and the family. That is of course when I finish my novel and it never gets published. But I guess if I figure that's what will happen and prepare for it at least I'll be ok with it.
    I also realized when I put myself out there as an editor again that when I was younger, reading constantly, I used to send letters to the publishers of books I had found mistakes in. I had completely forgotten all about that. Had I kept it up and pushed myself maybe I'd be a "real" editor or somewhere in the publishing industry, who knows. Again though, that's not what happened. I'm here keeping busy, but most of all keeping happy.