Again?

    This writing itch of mine just doesn't seem to go away. It can lie dormant for some time, as you may have noticed, but eventually I've got to get something on paper. This, of course, is not exactly paper but I've used up quite a bit of it at home lately to get to this point of actually putting it out there. I have no clue what I'm doing or where I'm going. The twins are graduating high school in June and I feel like them- like I did at that same point in my life all over again. What the heck am I doing? Am I going to do? How in the world am I supposed to help them figure it out when I feel I'm in the same place myself? Sure, they have it a bit easier no kids, house, spouse, job.... as of yet. Maybe because I never felt the need to find a career and get on the right path toward one I can make sure they do. So they never get back to this place as long as they are happy in their choice- hopefully they'll stay there.
     Words have always been my passion, whether writing or reading them. I've seen a few friends self publish their own books and am always jealous. Yet I can never seem to finish one of my own. Have tried and started and even gotten quite a few chapters in, then..... Well I pretty much block myself and refuse to keep going much less even look at my words to get myself motivated again. I've toyed with putting some out on here but am never sure thats the best idea. So I find myself avoiding it and tooling around the web trying to find a way to write and make money. Yeah sure cause that will ever happen. But it's still there the urge to get things out of my head and out into the open. And I'm back on my blog yet again. Still not knowing where it's all going.
     I always saw myself as a mom. I didn't see myself taking care of other peoples' kids. Though I certainly enjoy it and the moneys not bad either I just never saw myself here. Am I that age already? Wondering what happened and how I got here? Not quite, but now that my baby is in school full time  I've actually got time to think and wonder and contemplate..... What The Hell Comes Next? Of course my mom career will never be over but it's certainly lessening more and more as these years fly on by. So i'll vent and preach and share and maybe even pull you in a little to my fantasy fictional musings- maybe with some feedback I'll actually make something out of it for once. Or at least finish more than a few chapters.