Friends/Family

     I have a sister I have never been close to. Doubt that I ever will be. Some people may think that's sad, I just think it's better for me. We are nothing alike. All my life because we are related I've had to abide by certain obligations. This biggest most annoying one.... she didn't have any friends to be in her wedding so I was forced by my parents to be in it. I still don't get why any bride would want someone they didn't particularly like, or get along with to be in their wedding? When it came time for my wedding I wanted people I could trust, people I wanted around me and whom I knew would be there for me to help me in my wedding. I certainly didn't choose this sister. Which of course meant I couldn't choose the other one I am close too, but since we do get along and actually talk she understood completely.
     Being a certain age I have had enough and finally gone off a bit about it always being "my sisters' show." Maybe it's got to do with her being the first girl and closest to my mother? Maybe it's her husband? Maybe it's just her? I can't really tell you but I'm done. I can tolerate holidays with her but there really is no point in trying for more. I'd love to help her with things I know I could. Thing is she doesn't ask for it. She expects it. And most certainly doesn't appreciate it. Has never reciprocated a favor. I'm not about to volunteer to be used. Not anymore. I wouldn't pick her as a friend why do I have to deal with crap just because I'm related to it?
     Maybe if she could ever be happy for anyone else people would want to be happy for her? I'm not anymore. I know my girlfriends' kids better than I know my nephew. It's just time to accept that's the way it's going to be. I choose to spend time with them. The adults and the kids all have a great time together. They are more of a family to me than my sisters family. Seems like they always have and always will be.
     Growing up I was always in awe of sisters I saw hanging out and doing things together. They were so close. In high school my sister didn't even speak to me. She had a car and drove every day her senior year. Not once did she drive me. I guess my mother could have made her, maybe it would have made us closer, maybe not. I do remember being friends with other seniors who thought she was a bitch. Which was exactly how I saw her and it was great to me that other people did too. Growing up I'm also hearing more stories and learning things about her I didn't know. Things like that are always interesting.
     I don't believe I've ever confided in or shared any secrets with my sister. I've had many friends some since the first grade that I still have. Wouldn't they be my family? I certainly consider them to be so. Just because we're not blood related certainly doesn't matter to me. I can count on them, I love them. I'm not even sure I can say I love my sister. Ok, that may be sad, but it's fact. I've no doubt I'd be sadder if my girlfriend moved away than if my sister did. Actually it almost happened and I was quite happy to see her go. Maybe that's mean but I knew I wouldn't have as many obligations to deal with.
    The dictionary has many definitions for family which is so true as my family is many things. I can't say the best definition is the one that says about a group not related by blood because that would leave out way too many people. But my husband, my closest family, the first person to come to mind when I think family, is not related to me by blood. I chose him to be my family. Why should he be the only one get to chose? Sometimes sisters and brothers are just as important to lean on.